Gwyneth Paltrow funds public schools by selling ridiculous goop products

Last Night Now

Stephen Colbert and Gwyneth Paltrow are back at it selling lifestyle items on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert after her visit to the show in January, in which the two spoofed her lifestyle brand goop, had unexpected results.

“After the show aired—and this is true—people flooded goop's website, trying to pay $900 for a sponge to whisper secrets into,” Colbert said. “Unfortunately, we had a limited supply in that it was fake.”

This time, these items meant to mock goop, with Paltrow graciously playing along once again, are actually going to be sold on the goop website with proceeds going to help fund public schools via DonorsChoose.org. The first item may have looked just like pencils, but they were actually Dream Twigs “painstakingly sourced at a local Office Depot.” Another item is a journal titled “My Incoherent Ramblings.”

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As Colbert put it, “Each page of this journal is made from genuine tree meat, and crafted to be double-sided, which means you can write down twice as many poems about a broken teacup. Spoiler alert: The teacup is you.”

And easily the crown jewel of the items for sale is Susie’s Seashore Chakra Shell. Paltrow said of the shell, “The shell is made of sterling silver for a look that says, ‘I, man, have improved upon nature.’ And Each shell will contain the sound of the ocean, personally whispered into it by Stephen Colbert and Gwyneth Paltrow”

Paltrow then gently made ocean sounds into the shell. Colbert’s ocean sounds are more reminiscent of a parent at the beach with his two young children.

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