Offbeat holiday gifts for the music fan who has everything!

Chris Willman

Sometimes you want to give your friends and family who love the gift of music a gift that isn’t actually music. If you want to push the gilded envelope with a music-related gift that’s a little bit out of the ordinary, here are some of our outside-the-gift-box suggestions.

Iron Maiden’s Christmas sweater

Who’re you calling ugly? This is the PRETTIEST Christmas sweater ever, at least if your dreams of sugarplums involve Eddie coming down the chimney to ravage the milk and cookies, presumably followed by any unsuspecting pets and sleeping in-laws. A red “666” is repeatedly embedded into the colorful acrylic fabric, too, in case your loved ones need a numerical reminder of the reason for the season. (Buy here for $84.99) (Credit:

Ariana Grande cat-ear headphones

Maybe you love Ariana Grande, or maybe you don’t but find yourself irresistibly drawn to her anyhow because, after all, SHE IS A CAT. You, too, can take on her feline appearance by picking up a set of Grande-branded ‘phones that cover your lobes while placing glowing cat ears atop your head. The ears illuminate in eight different festive colors, and the “cans” have speakers that face outward as well as inward, so you can listen privately or turn on the exteriors and really annoy everyone on the subway. (Buy here for $149.99) (Credit:

Morrissey on the tree

Morrissey may not wear fur, but fir can wear him. Your most beloved ’80s post-punk icons are now fit for hanging on the tree, with these ornaments that comically cast them in the roles of Christmas TV icons. The ex-Smiths frontman is both Heat Mozzer and Snow Mozzer, while a certain Banshee is Siouxsie Lou Who. Saint Nick, of course, is a Cave-man. (Buy here for $10) (Credit:

A Killer Mike meets John Podesta T-shirt

This might be the gift on our list that requires the greatest amount of explaining. As you may recall, if you follow the intersection of rap and politics, Killer Mike endorsed Bernie Sanders and had some unkind words for Hillary Clinton this past year. Wikileaks eventually revealed that there was some behind-the-scenes discussion about how to co-opt or at least quiet down the off-the-reservation rapper. Now, Killer Mike has taken a formerly secret email from campaign manager John Podesta last February, which reads, “I guess Killer Mike didn’t get the message,” and emblazoned it across a clothing line. On his website sales page, he has dubbed them the “I Don’t Check Messages” T-shirts and hoodies. Maybe you can be the first to send Julian Assange one for Christmas! (Buy here for $28) (Credit:

’80s and ’90s cool-cat icon Christmas cards

It’ll be a very new wave or Britpop Christmas when you send your pals season’s greetings via holiday cards fronted by the colorfully and impishly drawn likes of the Cure’s Robert Smith, Depeche Mode (Gore or Gahan –your choice), Nick Cave, Brian Eno, Debbie Harry, or Noel Gallagher (favored over his brother for these Christmassy purposes because of, you know, his first name). As they used to say in the ’80s: Just say no… to Hallmark! (Buy here for $3.45 each) (Credit:

Green Day boombox-and-cassette set

Here’s a band that takes care of both your hardware and software needs. Sure, you’d like to buy a Green Day-branded boombox, but what are you going to play on it, when you already tossed all your cassette tapes and even the local Goodwill sent theirs to the landfill? Easy: The band is throwing in their entire catalog on analog tape with the deal. So now you can go stand beneath the window of the Ione Skye in your life with this baby on your shoulder, and summon her to your side with “American Idiot.’ (Buy here for $249.99) (Credit:

Johnny Cash’s home

You won’t be able to buy this one in bulk for your gift list, but if you’re a multi-millionaire, one lucky classic country lover in your life can have Cash’s 4.5 acre lakeside property in Hendersonville, Tennessee, where he lived with June Carter Cash from 1968 until his death in 2003. You may have heard that the actual house burned down in 2007, so your gift recipient will have to plow a little of his or her own money into rebuilding. But the property still does have the original guard house, swimming pool, garage, dock, and other elements trodden by the Man in Black and his missus. (Open to offers in the millions) (Credit:

A brick from Eminem’s home

If you can’t afford Johnny Cash’s entire property, maybe you can at least afford to get someone a single brick from Eminem’s now-demolished childhood house in Detroit. Or maybe you can’t: The 700 individually numbered bricks with signatures of authenticity that went on sale last May quickly sold out at $313 a piece, and the sales page for the item on his website has been deleted. (Maybe it was the cassette copies of the 16-year-old ‘Marshall Mathers LP’ that Eminem threw in to the package that sealed the deal.) But all hope is not lost, if you or your intended must have one. Several of the brick packages are for resale on eBay. Just don’t just click “buy it now” on the first one you see, because current asking prices top out at $49,999 but bottom out at a somewhat more reasonable $799. Now, if you really had mad money, you could try buying up all the bricks and use them to get a start on rebuilding the Johnny Cash house. ( Bid here for $800-$50,000) (Credit:

Bon Iver’s flannel shirt

The cover art for Bon Iver’s latest album, ‘22, A Million,’ has a cover by Justin Vernon’s longtime artist collaborator Eric Timothy Carlson, designed as a series of runes… or, symbols, to you and me. Wouldn’t it be cool if those were on a T-shirt? Well, sure, but what if you could actually fly the flannel with a $75 shirt that has all these obscure runes embedded in a sea of lumberjack red? Naturally, the band’s name appears nowhere on the shirt, which is made of “the highest quality canvas flannel fabric.” So only the truly faithful will know you’re wearing an official Bon Iver item and not a really artsy pajama top. But so worth it as a Williamsburg conversation-starter! (Buy here for $75) (Credit:

Daft Punk snow globes

Daft Punk’s web store is such a garden of delights unto itself, you could spend a healthy chunk of time there just looking at the ads for their products, all of which parody the fonts and photos of bygone eras (especially the ’70s). When it comes time to check out, a lot of their finest items are sold out. But you can get a fine pair of helmet-and-visor Christmas ornaments… if you can wait for delivery in February. Their snow globes, which conjure wonderful random access Christmas memories, also just sold out, but you can hit up eBay or hope the DP store will restock before 2017 is over. (Buy here for $35) (Credit:

Big Boi’s dog shampoo

Shake first like a Polaroid, then apply. “This custom line uses hand-picked essential oils to solve your pet’s specific skin and fur issues” says the site set up by the sometimes Outkast member and his partner in dog hair care, Bobbi Panter, who had a long run of experience in this product field before they met at Big Boi’s Pitfall Kennels in Atlanta and became business partners. “I look forward to the possibilities ahead for us!” Big Boi enthuses on the duo’s website… even as Andre 3000 weeps for how he never said that about him. (Buy here for $9.99-$14.99) (Credit:

Guns N’ Roses Pop! Rocks figurines

Bobbleheads seem to have given way to the Pop! Vinyl series of less realistic, wide-faced figurines in pop culture, maybe because they more resemble something out of anime than a baseball stadium giveaway. Horror movie characters and wrestlers have gotten more priority than rockers up till now, but that’s changing. You can already buy Pop! Rocks versions of Lemmy from Motorhead and Gerard from My Chemical Romance, and the three extant members of Guns N’ Roses are set for release this month. If the adorable Slash and Duff figurines don’t actually arrive in time for Christmas, you can always give your gift recipient an IOU… just like Axl kept giving us IOUs for ‘Chinese Democracy’ for a decade. (Buy here for $19.99) (Credit:

Public Enemy action figures

Of all your 2016 action figure choices, why not do the right thing by going with the foursome who brought hip-hop into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Chuck D and Professor Griff don’t stand any less tall at four and a half inches, and you’ll never forget what time it is, figuratively speaking, with Flava Flav positioned on your nightstand. Since they’re highly bendable action figures, you can pose them to fight with each other… but better to just have them all facing off against the power. . (Buy them here for $60) (Credit:

T-shirts worn by the stars

Here’s a company that specializes in authorized reproductions of T-shirts once worn by your favorite rock icons. Occasionally that gets a little meta, because they advertise a Debbie Harry shirt once modeled by Joan Jett, whereas you can alternately pick up a Mick Ronson shirt famous for being worn by… Debbie Harry. But the stars weren’t always wearing other stars, or even their own logos, although there are plenty of choices from that category, too. Scroll down to the Kurt Cobain page, and you can buy a repro of the “Corporate magazines still suck” shirt he had made to wear on the cover of Rolling Stone, or the “Grunge is dead” shirt he modeled elsewhere, or just a basic Olympia Beer tee. Visit this site and you’ll never buy anyone a Stones tongue logo shirt at Target ever again. (Buy here for $45) (Credit:

A Yellow Submarine mug with heat-activated Beatles

The market is flooded with Yellow Submarine merch — because for one thing, hey, it’s more identifiable than ‘White Album’ cover art souvenirs — but we’re especially fond of anything that involves a heat-seeking missile element. To put it in plainer language, this one has cartoons of the Fabs that rise into the portholes once you pour your coffee. I’ve got a feeling, though, that the Beatles really flip out when you put them in the dishwasher. (Buy here for $15.95) (Credit: