December 21, 2011
The Philadelphia Flyers have taken to calling goalie Ilya Bryzgalov by the nickname "Universe," and for good reason: His intergalactic philosophizing on our place in the solar system made him the first star of Episode 1 for "HBO 24/7 Flyers Rangers: The Road To The NHL Winter Classic."
In Episode 2, things got meta for Bryz: The Flyers discussed his rants about the galaxy and the slaughter of endangered tigers during a team meal, leading to more Bryz gold about dogs-as-beautiful women; and later, Bryzgalov went from pretending to be an administrative assistant to questioning the sanity of defensemen.
Enjoy (PG-13 WARNING: On nasty word uttered.)
The conversation between Bryzgalov and Flyers rookie Harry Zolnierczyk may not be as "huMANgous big" as last week's (or "epic," as Bryzgalov called it), but it may actually top it as far as sheer strangeness. For the video impaired:
BRYZ: "You have imagination right? You know they breed Husky."
HARRY: "The Husky? The dog? That's what you have?"
BRYZ: "Siberian Husky. She's all white. Beautiful blue eyes. That's basically blonde girl with blue eyes. Your dream, man."
HARRY: "So you're comparing women to your Huskies?"
BRYZ: "My husky, basically, she's a hot girl, man."
HARRY: "A-mazing. A-mazing."
Later, Bryzgalov's chat about goaltending was … different.
"I love it. Sometimes hate it. A few weeks ago they broke my chest protector during the practice, and guys continue start hitting me in the same spot. Why so painful? I don't want to be goalie now. Can I sit in the office and accept the calls? Like '1-800 … let me transfer you to a different department.'"
As for defensemen?
"OK, they fire the puck from the blue line. Chief usually yelling 'block the shot' at the defensemen. They doesn't have the goalie gear, but they have to block the shot. So who is more crazy, me or the defensemen? Who is more weird?"
If read in Heath Ledger's Joker voice, that last passage is chilling.