October 25, 2011
Only one week after Brad May(notes) and Annabelle Langlois were eliminated but earned a second chance through the judges' save, the couple was officially and irreversibly bounced from Battle of the Blades Monday night.
It was a bed of their own making. A night after committing a number of slips that earned them the bottom spot on the leaderboard, Canada agreed that Brad and Annabelle sucked way hard, and sentenced them to the Monday night skateoff. There, the couple made yet another mistake, botching the throw that was central to their performance, and earning their tickets home.
In other words, last week's judges' save accomplished absolutely nothing apart from needlessly prolonging this dreadful competition by one week. Was this to torture me? I wondered. I was briefly concerned that Brad and Annabelle were somehow going to get saved again, only to be eliminated next week, then saved again, and on and on until I realized I had been dead for a year and this was my Hell.
Monday night was like some kind of horrible rerun. I watched the same couple get eliminated as last week, and I was forced to endure reprisals of three of Sunday night's six skates, not two, because of some bullcorn statistical anomaly.
You see, for the first time in BotB history, a relative tie occurred: the fourth and fifth pairings were apparently within hundredths of a point of one another, so close a national audit firm recommended it be called a draw.
It was stupid recommendation, because that's not a draw. That's two separate numbers that someone calls the same number unnecessarily. What's next, the national audit firm declares the 100 metre dash a ten-way tie? Everybody crossed the finish line in exactly ten seconds. Ridiculous.
That said, if the inclusion of the third pair is what allowed us to witness the surprisingly touching redemptive moment when Cale and Violetta successfully completed yesterday's failed lift, I'll forgive the bogus stat-counting. That was neat, I won't lie.
But everything else was no good. This show is no good.