She asked Reddit’s “Relationship Advice” forum to weigh in. The most recent example of her fiance’s behavior was a 5-hour argument over COVID-19 swabs. He asked her to swab his nostrils. She thought it would be less painful if he did it himself. Then the fight started.
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“So everytime we have an argument he has a certain point of view and own beliefs about what is logical and sound,” she said. “Sometimes I have a different point of view and he will argue with me until I either agree with him or I change his point of view. This is usually over really small things.”
The fiance asked her to do a COVID-19 rapid test on him. But the last few times, he complained of how painful it was. She wrote she had found a less painful way to complete the rapid test, but he disagreed.
“I heard that it is less painful when you do it yourself so I suggested it to him,” she wrote. “I told him I was uncomfortable inflicting pain on him and I felt uncomfortable the last few times. I suggested he try it himself. He kept begging me to do it and I got annoyed. I even told him he doesnt have to go deep just in the nares.”
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He did the test himself but “got mad” that she “wasn’t caring” enough when he was “vulnerable.”
“He told me I am not caring and I should have helped him or sat by him,” she explained. “He told me I didnt do it because I was annoyed of swabbing him. I told him my true intentions were that he be in less pain. We have been arguing about this for 5 hours now and I ended up crying because it was ao frustrating.”
Reddit posters felt this was a major red flag.
“This isn’t going to get better after you’re married, this is just a preview,” another added.
“You are frankly being beaten down verbally until you agree with your partner,” someone warned.
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