Texans, Bengals headline NFL season's first Sorry Six

The NFL is a league of icons, a league of heroes, a league of teams that look history in the eye and say, “I own you.” But today, we’re not talking about those teams. We’re setting our sights …a little lower.

Welcome to the Sorry Six. These aren’t necessarily the worst teams in the NFL, but being terrible is a good way to make this list. No, this is for teams that underwhelm, underperform, and underdeliver each week. And guess what! The Browns and Jets aren’t on the list! At the moment, anyway.

Leading the pack, two teams that play Thursday night: the Houston Texans and the Cincinnati Bengals.

Off the field, the Texans are as tough as it gets, and JJ Watt has already locked up man of the decade for all his Harvey charity work. But between the white lines, this team has absolutely no clue. When you ditch Brock Osweiler and are somehow worse off, you know you’ve lost your way. Maybe Deshaun Watson will bring some of that Clemson Tiger magic to the Texans. He knows how to beat Bama, at least, so if the Texans get relegated to the SEC West, they’ll be ok.

The Bengals, meanwhile, got a head-start on their usual playoff fade by chumping out in Week 1. Andy Dalton threw four interceptions, got sacked five times, and had a quarterback rating of 28.4. You could beat that tossing treats to your dog. In a week filled with ugly quarterback performances, the Ginger Slingshot stood out.

Who else makes the list? Check out the video above. Spoiler: neither the Browns nor the Jets are there. And after Thursday night’s game, either the Bengals or Texans might figure a way to get off the list next week. Maybe.

The Sorry Six are here.

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Jay Busbee is a writer for Yahoo Sports and the author of EARNHARDT NATION, on sale now at Amazon or wherever books are sold. Contact him at jay.busbee@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter or on Facebook.