The seven stages of watching Dwight Howard go coast-to-coast

1. “Hey, cool, Dwight Howard grabbed a defensive rebound. That’s one of the things he’s still real good at. Doing a lot of that should help the Charlotte Hornets, who have prioritized cleaning the defensive glass since Steve Clifford took over as coach.”

2. “Huh. He’s dribbling! Haven’t seen a whole lot of that from him recently. Well, it’s preseason, after all. Might as well stretch out the ol’ skill set!”

[Now’s the time to sign up for Fantasy Basketball! Join for free]

3. “Wait … is that Dwight Howard? [squints] Maybe Michael Kidd-Gilchrist got swole? I mean, not that that would make much more sense. [squints] No, that is Dwight. Huh!”

4. “He doesn’t have to be dribbling right now, does he? Is this a drill? Maybe it’s just a joint practice that the Pistons are there for. … There are four other guys in teal out there, right? Am I hallucinating again? I thought those were the normal cookies. Just standard Soft Batch. [inspects hands]”

[Follow Ball Don’t Lie on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | Tumblr]

5. “Since when does Dwight have an off-the-dribble spin mo–”

6. “BOBAN NOOOOOO”

7.


Good news, Hornets fans: you no longer have to worry about whether Michael Carter-Williams or Julyan Stone can credibly back up Kemba Walker this season. Just get the ball to Point Dwight, grab the not-so-normal cookies, and get out of the way.

Dwight Howard completes an unthinkable play. (Chris Schwegler/NBAE/Getty Images)

– – – – – – –

Dan Devine is an editor for Ball Don’t Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at devine@yahoo-inc.com or follow him on Twitter!