We live in a world of hyperbole. Everything is marketed as the best thing ever because it draws people in. We here at The Stew get it. We see that stuff on the Internet all the time.
But you have to trust us when we say this Boston Red Sox fan threw out the greatest first pitch of all-time before Wednesday’s game. The debate has ended with this glorious toss.
17 year old helped by Red Sox charity throws out first pitch tonight. pic.twitter.com/eKkoYwjoJo
— Moderator (@WaboMadohondo) August 16, 2017
Greatest of all-time? Without a doubt!
We’re afraid to go into much detail on this one. But as you can see from the video, the first pitch flies way off course and winds up hitting one of the camera men at the backstop right in his most sensitive area. We don’t think we have to describe it more vividly than that.
We submit this as the best first pitch of all-time for a few different reasons. First off, it’s terrible. The ball is thrown so far off the mark that it rivals 50 Cent’s infamous pitch. It comes close to matching Mariah Carey’s toss that traveled two feet before hitting the ground.
While both of those are in contention, they don’t feature a man being hit in the groin. There’s nothing funnier than that, at least according to the Simpsons. It works on so many levels.
OK, fine, you’re still stubbornly fighting us on this. Well, maybe the picture from the cameraman will convince you we’re right.
— Chris Mason (@ByChrisMason) August 16, 2017
C’mon. Right? Combine the terrible pitch with the hilarious result with the iconic photo taken just moments before the disaster and there’s no way you can make the argument for anything else.
This is it. This is the pinnacle of excellent first pitches. What a time to be alive.
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