Mumps, Shattenkirk and Lightning sell-off (Puck Daddy Countdown)

(In which Ryan Lambert takes a look at some of the biggest issues and stories in the NHL, and counts them down.)

7 – Crying poor

While it is, let’s say, interesting that the NHL’s revenues are expected to remain flat for what is effectively three straight years now, it’s just sad the extent to which the CHL works against its players.

Just read this whole thing. I understand hockey is a business but, like, pay the players. Literally any amount of money beyond a very small stipend. Like the minimum wage, that would be a good starting point.

But alas:

Wow, cool.

6 – Ottawa in ‘Going For It’ mode

Maybe it’s just me but I really don’t get why Alex Burrows is a guy you give up one of your four or five best prospects for. Burrows has 20 points in 55 games this year, and while he’s well on his way to surpassing last year’s output (22 points in 79) that’s still not very good. Even if he improves on this current pace, which I’m not counting on, the odds that he gets anywhere close to 40 points are slim.

Even beyond the low production numbers — not surprising for a guy in his age-36 season, quite frankly — this is also a guy who hurt the Canucks in possession and had a very, very marginal goals impact. So to give up a well-regarded (albeit not deal-breaking) prospect for him is a little bizarre.

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But then to also say, “And you know what, Alex, we’re gonna sign you for two more years to boot,” is just silly, right?

Are there people defending this deal on any level outside the Ottawa front office?

Now, to be fair, the extension screams, “Please take this guy in the expansion draft,” and that’s something you can say of a lot of recent signings (see also: Tootoo, Jordin; Roszival, Michal). But still, there’s a difference between exposing Roszival or Tootoo, who you don’t care about and have been in the organization for a while, and trading for then re-signing Burrows, who’s old as hell and not very good.

Let’s put it this way: If you’re even thinking of pushing in your chips soon, and you start by giving away that kind of a prospect for a guy like Alex Burrows, you’re gonna have to sign the deed to the rink over to the Avalanche if you still want Duchene or Landeskog.

And that Stalberg-for-a-third trade? Well, that’s fine I guess. Doesn’t make much difference one way or another, except to say that’s one extra third you can’t trade for something that’s actually gonna help you win a playoff round.

Stalberg and Burrows are your opening volleys here? Good luck with that.

5 – Reviewing your options

Antoine Vermette slashed an official. That can’t be understated, or said enough. This isn’t art, so we don’t have to take the artist’s intent into consideration.

No matter what he meant to do, like tap a guy on the shin or whatever other excuse, the video evidence is looks bad enough that a 10-game suspension was frankly warranted. But Vermette’s not a fan, so he’s gonna run this up the ladder as far as it’ll go in hopes of getting Wideman’d. That is, probably not really getting the suspension reduced, but recouping a little of the money he lost.

I think it’s dumb that it’s dragging on like this, but I don’t blame him. Just serve the 10 games and shut up, sure. You slashed a linesman so that’s fine. But why not try to get that cash back if Wideman, who ended an official’s career, did it?

4 – Jonathan Quick is back now

Jonathan Quick has been out so long you kinda almost forgot about it unless you watched a few Kings games and said to yourself, “Wow, they sure are playing Budaj a lot.”

This is another one of those classic Kings seasons. Muddle around in the standings, get solid enough goaltending to make up for the lack of offense, and dominate possession. Getting Quick back helps to ensure it continues, because while Budaj had been very good to this point (.917 ain’t bad at all, baby!) he’s also Peter Budaj so those wheels could fly off at any time.

And while Quick is coming off a long injury — and one to his groin, which is always a worry with a capital-A capital-G Athletic Goalie — he’s still way more likely to deliver .917 for the remainder of the season. And if he’s not, well, there’s always…

3 – The Lightning blow-up

Speaking of the Kings’ goaltending, it’s hard to see Ben Bishop heading there as anything but an insurance policy for Los Angeles (in case Quick can’t get back to his former level or, more worrying, gets hurt again). This is a pure rental. Can’t imagine the Kings will want anything to do with retaining the guy after this season unless Quick’s career is in jeopardy or something. Which, you have to figure they wouldn’t be letting him play right now if it were.

But what the Bishop contract really speaks to is the Lightning’s current and future cap constraints, and the fact that they have (wisely) given up hope that they’ll make the playoffs this season. They basically took very little back (a decent prospect, a late pick, and Budaj) for a guy they could have traded for a lot more nine months or so ago, but hey, they had every reason to think they were Cup-competitive this year. Weird stuff happened, so they aren’t. That’s life.

Then, of course, Brian Boyle got dealt to Toronto for one of the Leafs’ roughly 9 million second-round picks in the last few years, so yeah, things are a little off-kilter if it’s the Bolts selling and the Leafs buying.

Again, it’s a good call for this team to sell. They still have the talent to go on a run and maybe even do some damage in the postseason if things go their way, regardless of Bishop and Boyle being on the roster any more. And if not, maybe they sell a little more as well. They have no reason to have a full-on fire sale, but if you’re getting picks and prospects for guys you weren’t going to keep anyway, that’s just good business. Bless up.

2 – That Shattenkirk trade

I’m a little surprised Kevin Shattenkirk went to the Capitals. I’m a little surprised the return was so small. I’m a little surprised no one else could come up with a better offer.

I’m not at all surprised the Capitals are pushing all-in with this roster. Because they were all-in anyway. Of course they were.

A roster with stars this old and expensive — Ovechkin’s 31 and he ain’t gonna hit 50 this year, and that’s about to become a lot more commonplace even though he’s signed for four more seasons after this at almost $9.54 million AAV — that’s also playing this well? If you’re Brian MacLellan this is maybe the last year or two you’re gonna be in a really strong position to win a Cup. You might as well give up what’s gonna be a late-first, a conditional late second, a good prospect and a career AHLer for another top-pairing defenseman (of which the Capitals now have three, which is nice) and a goalie prospect you already had before and very much liked.

Yeah it’s a pure rental, but what the hell? The time to Go For It is now. Now you just gotta hope you don’t pull the Pens in the second round again.

1 – Mumps!!!!!!

Mumps is back and this is the best joke about it anyone’s gonna come up with:

(Not ranked this week: Shock! Amazement! Wonder!

Shane Doan gets to say, “Man I don’t know about the direction of this team!” And no one said, “Hold on buddy, what are you talking about?”

Like, come on, man.

You play for the Coyotes, right? Have for a little while now? How is this not a thing to which you’ve become accustomed? He just signed a one-year deal this past offseason. He had to know going in this was a team that was going to tank hard. Look what they did in the offseason. Hell, look what they’ve done every offseason forever.

The Coyotes are very wisely tanking to get actual talent on the roster. The fact that 78-year-old Radim Vrbata leads the team in scoring tells you plenty about the quality of this group. For Doan to be gobsmacked by it tells you he’s either naive or not paying attention. Either way, that’s on him, not John Chayka.

The latter’s just doing his job right. It’s a big change in the desert, I know. Competent governance? They’re not used to that.)

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Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All statistics via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)

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