Today it’s all too easy to judge people before we’ve spoken to them — and, thanks to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and the like, before we’ve even seen them in person.
Which is why now, more than ever, it’s important not to judge a book by its cover, as mother and blogger Constance Hall realized at school pickup recently.
Having noticed a “posh” mom at school who “drove a nice car” and “held her head high,” Hall gossiped about her with another mother.
Today is the only day of the week that I go to work. So why did my brain want to chat at 2am? Me- shut up I'm working in the morning. Brain- Know but we're gonna be so tried anyway. Let's figure out who we're inviting to the wedding. Me- ssshhhhhh Brain- fuck there is only a few hours of sleep left. Check your phone, let's see exactly how fucked we are tomorrow. Me- no! That will make it worse. Brain- ok fuck!!! ……. don't get angry, but you need to wee. Me- done now good night. Brain- it's probably closer to 4am now, we could get fired for this. Me- shut up or I'll silence you with a sleeping pill or a wank. Brain- ok ok, goodnight. Brain- ……. Brain-……. Brain- We should get a cat.
A post shared by constanceandtribe (@mrsconstancehall) on Aug 15, 2017 at 6:20pm PDT
But when she finally spoke to the “posh” mum, her expectations were shattered, and the pair are now best friends.
“There was this women at school pick up everyday,” Hall wrote on Facebook. “I don’t know what it was about her, she drove a nice car, held her head high and always had a blow dry. She spoke in a posh accent, wore nice (non stained) clothes and barely ever spoke to me. There I was, with my tits out breast feeding my babies, smelling like dried milk, matted hair, a puffy face from a morning in tears, no shoes and a partial bogan accent…”
She continued, “It was like she was put on this earth to amplify my insecurities.”
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A post shared by constanceandtribe (@mrsconstancehall) on Aug 10, 2017 at 2:28am PDT
So she did what many moms would do in that situation, and tried talking about her with another mother, “partly out of intrigue and partly hoping to make my feral self feel better,” she admitted. But the other mom’s advice, she added, “hit me with a big reality check,” as she was told, “Talk to the woman and not about her.” So she did.
“I sat next to her on the brick retainer wall outside the kindy room,” Hall wrote. “I found out she is an ex addict and holds AA meetings to help out other addicted women that want sobriety, I found out she struggles with her marriage, her kids and her health just like the rest of us. I found out that she is a million things, snobby not being one of them. She is one of the most inspiring women I know.”
A post shared by constanceandtribe (@mrsconstancehall) on Jul 28, 2017 at 10:44pm PDT
“Turns out I have a confident exterior too, turns out that while sitting there hating my life without the confidence to talk to these gorgeous mums, they didn’t have the confidence to talk to me, they thought I was too free too relaxed, that I thought I was too cool,” she went on. “And that mum, is now one of my best friends, we bitch about our men together, our kids and we laugh all the time.
“So now that I’m at a new school, I know that a lot of folks have their opinions on me these days and unfortunately a lot of the gossip has gotten back to me, I’d like to remind mums everywhere to.. Talk to the woman not about her.”
Hall’s message has struck a chord with other parents, as the post has gathered more than 90,000 reactions and 8,000 shares.
“We need so much more of this,” one of her fans commented. “Our next bestie could be a simple ‘Good morning’ away.”
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