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MLB Power Rankings: Nats are lurking

On what it takes to be like the A’s, Cano’s dizzy spell and Mr. Met’s vulnerabilities:

The rankings (records through Wednesday):

Oakland
Oakland

1. Oakland Athletics (78-54; Previous: 1) – A’s tighten up for stretch, focus on tighter defense, more aggressive baserunning and fewer careless whispers.


Los Angeles
Los Angeles

2. Los Angeles Angels (79-53; Previous: 2) – Hoping to be more like A’s, Angels flood parts of their stadium.


Washington
Washington

3. Washington Nationals (75-57; Previous: 5) – Williams promises Babe Ruth impersonation with 10-game winning streak; Hal McRae impersonation with 10-game losing streak.


Baltimore
Baltimore

4. Baltimore Orioles (75-56; Previous: 3) – Bright side, Machado appears to be running out of knees to repair.


Los Angeles
Los Angeles

5. Los Angeles Dodgers (76-58; Previous: 4) – It only seems sometimes Puig is love child of Teen Wolf and Forrest Gump. Not actually true. Probably.


Kansas City
Kansas City

6. Kansas City Royals (74-58; Previous: 6) – Royals now sorta can’t believe they didn’t bury Tigers earlier.


Seattle
Seattle

7. Seattle Mariners (72-60; Previous: 8) – Cano leaves game with dizziness, blames new money smell.


Milwaukee
Milwaukee

8. Milwaukee Brewers (73-60; Previous: 7) – Carlos Gomez is so cool the ice bucket declined, donated a hundred bucks.


St. Louis
St. Louis

9. St. Louis Cardinals (71-61; Previous: 11) – Lackey exchanges Babe Ruth-signed ball for Neshek’s No. 41, shops A.J. Pierzynski-signed jersey for extra pair of sanitary socks.


Detroit
Detroit

10. Detroit Tigers (71-60; Previous: 10) – Some people see everything in black and white. Scherzer sees things in, well, it’s really hard to say.


San Francisco
San Francisco

11. San Francisco Giants (70-62; Previous: 12) – Hunter Pence’s carry-on does not fit in the airport bag sizer.


New York
New York

12. New York Yankees (69-62; Previous: 15) – Since they’re running out of numbers, beginning next spring Yanks will begin issuing uniforms with QR codes on back.


Atlanta
Atlanta

13. Atlanta Braves (69-64; Previous: 14) – Nats adopt rally pigeon. Braves think it’d taste better fricasseed.


Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh

14. Pittsburgh Pirates (69-64; Previous: 9) – Polanco sent down. Enjoyed his cup of El Coffee.


Cleveland
Cleveland

15. Cleveland Indians (67-64; Previous: 16) – Dude, I just had arth-bro-scopic surgery!


Toronto
Toronto

16. Toronto Blue Jays (67-66; Previous: 13) – If Royals make playoffs, Blue Jays will indeed own longest postseason drought, but would like to know when was the last time the Expos did anything.


Miami
Miami

17. Miami Marlins (65-67; Previous: 17) – Good, young position-player core, check. Power arms, check. Superstar, check. Bright manager, check. What could go wrong?


Tampa Bay
Tampa Bay

18. Tampa Bay Rays (65-68; Previous: 19) – Just as a matter of protocol, Rays go ahead and protest other 66 losses. Hey, never know.


Cincinnati
Cincinnati

19. Cincinnati Reds (64-69; Previous: 18) – Votto unhappy with notion he’s soft. Sprains ankle rushing to own defense.


New York
New York

20. New York Mets (62-71; Previous: 20) – So apparently Mr. Met has an issue with people striking him in the privates. In other news, Mr. Met has privates.


San Diego
San Diego

21. San Diego Padres (62-70; Previous: 21) – Remember when Padres’ right-field foul pole was a golf club? It’s now a crutch.


Philadelphia
Philadelphia

22. Philadelphia Phillies (61-72; Previous: 25) – Amaro backs Sandberg “so far.” It’s almost September.


Chicago
Chicago

23. Chicago White Sox (60-72; Previous: 22) – Reinsdorf says of local Little League team, “I look at this as a White Sox team.” Nobody really argues.


Minnesota
Minnesota

24. Minnesota Twins (58-74; Previous: 23) – Did you know that St. Paul was actually born four minutes earlier than Minneapolis?


Chicago
Chicago

25. Chicago Cubs (59-73; Previous: 26) – Cubs knew they shouldn’t have just stuffed tarp into glove compartment, but, well, they were in a hurry and all.


Boston
Boston

26. Boston Red Sox (58-75; Previous: 24) – Red Sox know there are things left to accomplish this season. Can’t think of any off the top of their head. But, there’s things.


Houston
Houston

27. Houston Astros (56-78; Previous: 28) – Several things would have to fall into place in order for Astros to sign first pick Brady Aiken, among them Aiken losing every ounce of self-respect.


Arizona
Arizona

28. Arizona Diamondbacks (55-78; Previous: 27) – A solid week of reporting determines that Kirk Gibson either will or will not return as manager in 2015.


Colorado
Colorado

29. Colorado Rockies (53-79; Previous: 29) – Troy Tulowitzki would like to be traded to a team whose big-money stars stay on the field and help it win.


Texas
Texas

30. Texas Rangers (52-80; Previous: 30) – Rangers not used to drafting so high, ask friends with Astros if they can borrow Ground Control for a couple weeks.

 

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