Meghan McCain has been very vocal in her support for her father, Senator John McCain, who is currently undergoing treatment for brain cancer.
Just last week, McCain posted a photo of herself and her father on Instagram with this message: “My Mother calls me ‘John McCain in a dress’—my relationship with my father has always been magic—we are fiercely and protectively forever on each other’s team. Love with your complete and whole heart in this life. We keep fighting because we are all McCains, we are a family of a long lineage of Vikings—fighting is what we have always done, and what we will always do.”
My Mother calls me “John McCain in a dress” – my relationship with my father has always been magic – we are fiercely and protectively forever on each other’s team. Love with your complete and whole heart in this life. We keep fighting because we are all McCains, we are a family of a long lineage of Vikings – fighting is what we have always done, and what we will always do. ♥️
A post shared by Meghan McCain (@meghanmccain) on May 7, 2018 at 11:07am PDT
McCain uses the word “fight” several times in talking about her father, but it’s a term many in the cancer community take issue with. In a new report titled “Missed Opportunities,” the U.K. charity Macmillan Cancer Support says that framing cancer as a “fight” or “battle” can make patients feel guilty or as if they have failed or lost if their condition worsens.
After the report went public, people flooded Twitter with their own thoughts on this, including actor Rob Delaney, who recently lost his young son, Henry:
My late wife Siân Busby always hated the metaphor of “fighting” cancer or “beating” it. She was always optimistic. And never fatalistic. And endured hideous treatments and operations. But she did not find the idea of cancer as the enemy especially helpful. pic.twitter.com/b16VGmXpOs
— Robert Peston (@Peston) May 15, 2018
Thank you Robert. I hate the fighting metaphor. My son Henry was a bad motherfucker; it’s not about fighting. Our family’s acknowledgement of reality allowed Henry to die peacefully at home. He was so happy in his final weeks. https://t.co/B62TLfxqhW
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) May 15, 2018
I work in palliative care and I’m so glad this is now being called out as it has frustrated me for years.
— Juliette O'Sullivan (@JulietteOSull) May 15, 2018
Exactly this. Don’t like the “fighting” or “battle” metaphor.
Leads to “x lost their battle with cancer”, which implies a failure.
You never hear “x lost their battle with a heart attack”, or “y lost their battle with getting run over by a bus”.
— Andy Ward (@andyward79) May 15, 2018
Agree. I never use war metaphors to describe cancer treatments or someone's illness. We should kick the cancer as battle metaphor to the curb, it's designed to make everyone feel better EXCEPT the person with cancer. https://t.co/R01tc0vXSQ
— Leslie Poston (@leslie) May 15, 2018
Clearly, everyone approaches a cancer diagnosis differently, and a variety of preferred terminology comes with that. (Shannen Doherty, whose breast cancer is now in remission, prefers the term “cancer slayer,” for example.) But this issue with using terms like “fight” and “battle” in relation to cancer isn’t new, Marlon Saria, PhD, RN, advanced practice nurse researcher at the John Wayne Cancer Institute at Providence Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, Calif., tells Yahoo Lifestyle.
“’Fight’ and ‘battle’ means that you can either win or lose,” he says, adding that “journey” and “survivor” can also be controversial. “If you think about it, who are the other survivors that we talk about other than cancer survivors?” Saria says. “You don’t talk about someone being a diabetes survivor or a stroke survivor.”
It’s often patients in palliative care who struggle with this terminology the most, Martha Aschenbrenner, licensed professional counselor with the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “The idea of a battle always has a sense of personal responsibility and accountability,” she points out. “For a lot of people, they feel like it puts the onus on them to survive their cancer.”
When it comes to helping people figure out how to mentally grapple with a cancer diagnosis, Aschenbrenner says she often asks the patient to define the terminology they’re comfortable with using. “I ask people, ‘What does this feel like to you?’” she says. A lot depends on a person’s stage of life and their generational perspective. Those who are older tend to look at it as a battle, while younger people typically view cancer as something they have to learn to live with, Aschenbrenner says.
If you know someone who has a cancer diagnosis, it may be helpful to listen to them and see how they refer to their cancer before using certain terms like “fight” and “battle.” But, of course, support is the most important thing. If someone you love is dealing with cancer, it’s important for you to be there and show your support, even if you happen to slip and use terminology that may be controversial, Saria says. Ultimately, being present matters much more.
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