Marco Asensio's reason for missing Real Madrid's Champions League opener is an all-timer

Why is Marco Asensio going to miss Real Madrid’s Champions League opener? You’d have to read it to believe it. (The Independent)

As if making rampant history on the field weren’t enough, Real Madrid is now setting precedents in keeping players off it.

Marco Asensio, the attacking midfielder whose star is rising with each performance, won’t play in the club’s Champions League opener against APOEL FC on Wednesday because … well, um, listen to manager Zinedine Zidane yourself (via The Telegraph):

He has a pimple, which means he cannot pull his sock up.

That’s a new one.

It makes sense, though. If it’s too painful to pull your sock up over your shin guard — which is an official FIFA rule, to which the domestic leagues and Champions League conform — then you’re simply not allowed to play. Moreover, it’s probably pretty painful to put any kind of pressure on that part of your leg, including kicking a soccer ball.

Spanish newspaper ABC also reported that Asensio’s malady stemmed from a leg hair follicle that became infected while shaving.

In any event, Real Madrid has enough talent to make quick work of APOEL. A little more caution with personal hygiene, however, seems recommended.

Joey Gulino is the editor of FC Yahoo and moonlights as a writer. Follow him on Twitter at @JGulinoYahoo.