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Tyronn Lue says LeBron James has the 'body of a 19-year-old,' might be Benjamin Button
In case you didn’t know, LeBron James is not the average 31-year-old.
The average 31-year-old is not a professional basketball player, cannot casually drop a triple-double in the opener of his 14th NBA season and definitely does not do what James did over the final three games of the Finals, almost singlehandedly delivering Cleveland’s first championship in 52 years. Matthew Dellavedova went so far as to call his former Cleveland Cavaliers teammate “indestructible.”
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Anyone who’s paid a visit to LeBron’s Instagram account can tell you the man is in tip-top shape. Here he is working out with Mark Wahlberg. Here he is pumping iron on vacation. Here he is climbing stairs shirtless on video. Here he is flexing on camera at the gym on an off day after a back-to-back. Here he is without a shirt smiling for a selfie. And here he is hanging topless with Dwyane Wade, as dudes do.
A photo posted by LeBron James (@kingjames) on Aug 31, 2016 at 11:45am PDT
If you know many 6-foot-8, 250-pound 31-year-olds who are built like a Michaelangelo statue, run like the wind and jump like a tree frog, then there’s 30 NBA general managers who’d like to talk to you.
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As it turns out, LeBron James is not your average 31-year-old, because he’s really just a 19-year-old. The proof is in Cavs coach Tyronn Lue’s response to a question about LeBron’s fitness this season:
Lue: “I don’t know. I know he had a chance to get tested this summer, and they said he had a body of a 19-year-old, so maybe he’s getting younger — Benjamin Button. I don’t know. Who knows?”
What kind of test is that?
Lue: “I don’t know. They just said he had the body or the bones, the structure of a 19-year-old kid, so maybe he’s going backwards.”
Then, the Cleveland media continued about its business of asking questions following Tuesday’s dismantling of the New York Knicks, as if Lue didn’t just compare LeBron James to Benjamin Button.
First of all, let’s get the jokes out about how LeBron James doesn’t have the hairline of a 19-year-old.
We done? Okay, then …
Considering LeBron entered the league at age 19, this is not good news for the NBA’s 29 other teams. He averaged 20.9 points, 5.9 assists, 5.5 rebounds and 2.3 combined blocks and steals in 39.5 minutes per game as a rookie in 2003-04. Last season, during which he turned 31 on Dec. 30, he averaged 25.3 points, 7.4 rebounds, 6.8 assists and 2.0 combined blocks/steals in 35.6 minutes a night. So, even if you don’t subscribe to the theory he is getting younger, you must accept he’s gotten better with age.
LeBron has played 38,510 minutes in his career. Only 38 players have ever compiled more mileage. He’s added another 8,383 minutes in the postseason. Only three players — Tim Duncan, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Kobe Bryant — have ever amassed that many. Only Larry Bird and John Havlicek put up the sort of regular-season numbers LeBron did after their 30th birthdays. Nobody at any age ever put up 26.3 points, 9.5 rebounds and 7.6 points per game during the playoffs, as LeBron did at age 31.
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For the record, this is what James told the Associated Press in September about his retirement plan:
“When I’m done,” he said. “I feel good.”
Good enough for 10 more years?
“Yeah,” he said, laughing. “That would give me a chance to play with my son or against my son.”
Another decade would give him a chance at catching that ghost he’s chasing in Chicago. Although, if he is Benjamin Button, he’d be like 9 years old in 2026, and probably still better than half the league.
They say Father Time is undefeated, but I might bet on LeBron if they ever played 1-on-1, based on mounting evidence that, unlike Ponce de Leon, he discovered the Fountain of Youth in Florida. Or maybe it’s all that Sprite he drinks. I can think of no other reason he’d have “the body or the bones, the structure of a 19-year-old kid,” although I’m sure the comment section will suggest at least one.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to find a doctor to confirm I have the body of an 85-year-old man.
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Ben Rohrbach is a contributor for Ball Don’t Lie and Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at rohrbach_ben@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter! Follow @brohrbach
