John Tortorella, Killorn's contract and McPhee's managing (Puck Daddy Countdown)

(Ed. Note: The column formerly known as the Puck Daddy Power Rankings. Ryan Lambert takes a look at some of the biggest issues and stories in the NHL, and counts them down.)

7. Expecting success at the World Cup

Fascinating interview with John Tortorella, the Lord Cardigan of the World Cup of Hockey, in which he says wouldn’t it be so nice to beat Canada in Toronto and all that kinda stuff.

Yeah and I mean as long as we’re imagining things, wouldn’t it be cool if dragons were real and could play hockey? Said Tortorella on the skill gap between the U.S. and Canada as the tournament approaches: “It’s hard to quantify as far as closing the gap, or if there is a gap.”

These are the words of a madman. The difference in talent level between these two clubs is roughly equivalent to that of the mass of, say, Jupiter, with, say, Mars. They are not particularly comparable. But they are at least both planets. Gotta give Mars that.

Tortorella also said his biggest challenge for the team is to get all the first-line players to accept the role that comes with playing third-line minutes. And therein lies the problem: Canada isn’t telling its top-flight players “Hey, you gotta go out and really grind it out in the corners.” It just has four (okay, maybe like three and a half) first lines and allows them to play as such. It doesn’t try to squeak out 1-0 wins because it doesn’t have to. Obviously the U.S. doesn’t have the bodies to do that overall, but their pursuit of Grit leads them to name Justin Abdelkader and Ryan Callahan (replaced by Kyle Palmieri) to the team instead of actual skilled players who might be able to put the puck in the net.

To correct Tortorella’s point: The U.S. stars’ biggest challenge will be overcoming the dumbass coaching and general managing decisions made above them and still being able to win, maybe, twice in the opening round. I really don’t know how much greater the expectations could be.

6. “Average”

Well Matt Pfeffer, you really stepped in it this time. First the Montreal Canadiens let you go, possibly because you thought P.K. Subban was better than Shea Weber (BIG MISTAKE BUDDY!!!!), then you tell The Hockey News you think Weber, in terms of ability to outscore opponents relative to the rest of his team, is merely “average?”

The problem with saying things like this — and Pfeffer would agree here — is that it becomes very easy for idiots to take out of context. You can’t say you think Shea Weber, a clearly above-average defenseman who is also incredibly overrated (insofar as he’s not one of the best defensemen in the game and hasn’t been for a while), is “average” without having clarification of exactly how you mean that in the same sentence.

Which of these thoughts is harder to out of context?

A) When it comes to relative 5-on-5 goalscoring, Shea Weber is average.
B) Shea Weber’s relative 5-on-5 goalscoring numbers are average.

It’s a lot easier to disingenuously screenshot or intentionally misread choice “A.” Though obviously this isn’t a thing one necessarily thinks about when having a conversation. And one suspects Pfeffer hasn’t had to deal with message board and Twitter morons who refuse to have any intelligent discussion on the subject for years, so I can’t fault him for this misstep.

Others can, and have. But because they tend to be in the “The only stat that matters is wins!” crowd, they’re best left ignored anyway.

The good news for Pfeffer is that in another two or three years, Shea Weber might have already declined past “average” and into “burden.” Which is why the trade was dumb in the first place.

5. More expansion/relocation news in the near future

Never get yourself worked up over a team maybe/maybe-not coming Seattle or Quebec City or the freakin’ moon. Believe it when you see it, folks.

4. Cashing in

I said it the other day but I really don’t get this Alex Killorn deal for Tampa. A guy like that isn’t really someone you want to be locking up for seven years, necessarily. Perfectly good, and marginally better than his teammates a number of things over his last three seasons. So you want to sign guys like that, in general, but for that long?

We know for sure that Killorn wanted a long-term deal, so maybe this was just the cost of doing business. Throwing in the modified no-trade clause seems like a bit of a giveaway, too, but okay fine.

The only thing I can think of here is that Tampa plans to use him for next season at a perfectly reasonable price, and then lose him in the expansion draft. Vegas will probably want a 27-year-old good middle-six center from a winning team with six years left at a pretty low price who doesn’t have full no-trade protection, right?

That’s gotta be it. Has to be. Because otherwise you can’t go around giving everyone on your roster $4.something million a year or more. If he doesn’t go in the expansion draft, Tampa’s gonna have a ton of money committed to not a ton of players for 2017-18.

3. George McPhee

Gotta give all your blessings to George McPhee as he attempts to shepherd a new franchise to success. And he’s right that he really does have it the best of most of his peers, because he picks his guys (from a better list than any other expansion GM ever has) right out of the gate.

Now, you can say that McPhee made some missteps with the Capitals — firing Boudreau, Erat-for-Forsberg, etc. — but overall I have a decent opinion of his work. And more to his point, unlike most GMs coming into a new job, he doesn’t have a shambolic roster to work with, riddled with cap problems that weren’t his call. He’ll probably have to take a bad contract here and there, of course, but having the ability to pick and choose rather than being handed a bag of cat turds and being told, “Have a good time,” is pretty awesome.

2. The Rangers

Last season, Mika Zibanejad, a player who is young and in theory still improving, was more or less as good as Derick Brassard, a player who is almost 29. He’s also a lot cheaper.

So hey, what do you know, the Senators made another baffling trade in an attempt to get, I don’t know, better? And hey, what do you know, it probably isn’t going to work.

The last two seasons, Brassard had his two best years ever, with 60 and 58 points, respectively. But last year was the real breakout because he scored 27 goals versus a previous career high of 19. Was it because he shot the puck more? Yup, an extra 0.18 shots per game. Oh, and also because his shooting percentage of 14.8 percent exceeded his career average by about one-third.

The Rangers sold as high as possible on Brassard and got a comparable player, plus a second-round pick. AND they save a bunch of money against the cap?

Usually doesn’t work like that on Broadway. Brave new world and all that.

1. The Islanders

How about that recent announcement, though, that the Islanders will likely have license to spend all the way to the cap. They join the Florida Panthers in the “Holy crap they’re actually gonna do it after all these years” division of teams that prioritize winning over being fiscally sound. And like the Panthers, they’re well-positioned in terms of talent to actually have good things happen here as a result.

Man, the Metro is gonna be competitive as hell for years.

(Not ranked this week: P.K. Subban.

Oh, you’re a big Johnny Cash fan, but then you pick “Folsom Prison Blues” as the song to sing? What, did the band not know “I Walk the Line?” Could have at least dipped into the back catalog and given “Big River” a whirl, hey?

God, P.K. Subban is so bad! No wonder Montreal traded him! He’s not enjoyable at all!)

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All statistics via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)