Chrissy Teigen is a mom of two with a seemingly happy, stable, low-drama marriage. But, as she pointed out on Twitter recently, that wasn’t always the case.
It all started when Teigen responded to a tweet celebrating the 10-year anniversary of her husband John Legend’s song, “Green Light.” “Fun fact, I had a jealously-fueled meltdown visiting this video set and made an a**hole out of myself to a large group of people,” she wrote. Fans quickly pressed her for details, and she obliged (after a “brief refresh” with Legend).
When the video was being shot, Teigen was 22 and she and Legend were dating. “It began with our friends (john’s managers and co-writers and a couple others) talking about how BEAAAAAAUUUUTIFUL some of the women were…and they were! But in my mind they not only were talking about it, they were talking about it on purpose to rile me up,” she wrote. “Looking back and knowing how well I know them now, THEY WERE DEFINITELY RILING ME UP AND GETTING A KICK OUT OF IT.”
“I was watching the monitor with all the guys and someone, I can’t remember who, said, “ooooooo look at that girl with john ooooooooo!” so I watched the monitor like a psychotic (tarantula) hawk and in my mind, oh he was in trouble,” she continued, pointing out that she and Legend also met on a video set when she was “that girl.”
“He probably laughed at something she said. And in my mind it was some GRAND conversation I was conjuring up. They were probably just talking about craft services honestly but in my mind she was like ‘hey we should bone’ and he was like ‘haha f*** yeah!’” Teigen said. “A few more shoulder touches and laughs with her later, I lost it. Anger turned to sobbing turned to fleeing the set and getting a hotel room. The director (ALAN FERGUSON!) was baffled. Everyone was.”
Teigen says she was just a “jealous, angry 22 year old,” before adding, “I’m better now. BUT DONT TEST ME.” Plenty of people responded in the comments about how relatable her story was:
Sounds like my 20’s. Thankfully (for me) that was prior to social media. 🤣
— BridgettiestBridgeeEver (@BridgetteTime) July 30, 2018
Appreciate u, Chrissy. Important sometimes to share the crazy shit we did once we have a clearer perspective.
— girl (@amberci) July 30, 2018
I’ve been that girl. Had a mini-come apart at Brixx Pizza because of it. 😊
— Suddenly Susan (@susan_gu3) July 30, 2018
While random jealous freak-outs aren’t admirable, they happen in relationships more than you’d think, clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “Jealousy up to a point is normal in a relationship,” she says. “It means you have some skin in the game.”
Of course, the circumstances leading up to the freak-out matter. It’s pretty normal to be jealous when there is actually something going on that could threaten your relationship, but you’re venturing into dangerous territory when the jealous reaction goes beyond what the threat is, licensed family therapist David Klow, owner of Skylight Counseling Center in Chicago and author of You Are Not Crazy: Letters from Your Therapist, tells Yahoo Lifestyle.
If you do happen to have a jealous meltdown like Teigen, there are a few important things to do. The first is to apologize, Durvasula says, and then own what happened. “Don’t blame the other person for your jealousy — that’s a terrible thing to do,” she says. Instead, try to figure out what it was about the situation that made you jealous, and be open with your partner about it,” she adds. Try something like “This situation was hard for me because… ” Hopefully, your partner will take that into account and try to keep that vulnerability in mind in the future.
But there’s more work to be done after the issue blows over, Klow says. He recommends trying to work on your own feelings of self-worth, which can impact jealous feelings. “If you feel certain about your worth and value to the other person, it can sometimes help curb feelings of jealousy,” he says. Of course, that won’t always help. If your partner is also in an industry where being surrounded by sexy women is practically part of the job description, just know that it’s normal to feel a little uncomfortable here and there, and be open with your partner about that, Durvasula recommends. “I don’t know many people that would be OK with their partner being around scantily-clad women.”
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