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Charles Barkley claims he turned down $3 million to join Twitter
Turner Sports analyst Charles Barkley wants nothing to do with social media, and Twitter especially, which is fine. It’d be nice to see a quip or two from the Chuckster on that website from time to time, but between his October-through-June work on TNT (with shows that sometimes go on for over six hours at a time), his many promotional appearances and his ubiquity on the chat show and sports talk radio circuit, it’s not like we’re dying for more Chuck Content. And we love Chuck Content.
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Though Twitter seems designed for funny dads always on the ready to make bad jokes they later regret, Barkley has kept it at arm’s length. So much so that, he claims, he turned down a $3 million offer to join the website (sponsor as-yet unidentified). Via Uproxx, here’s Barkley on the Dan LeBatard Show on Tuesday morning:
And why turn down more money than he made in 1990-91, when he averaged 27 points, 10 rebounds and four assists?
“I will never tweet. I will never do Instagram or any type of social media. Most people are great, I believe, but there are some evil people that sit behind a computer and feel like they can say anything to anybody.”
That’s true, but you don’t have to be an international celebrity with a blue checkmark to ignore @ replies, or merely just turn that feature off. You think some of the soulless sportswriters he mentioned really look at their @ replies?
(Actually, I think most of them might. Any attention is good attention after not getting enough of it growing up, right [NAME REDACTED]?)
Charles Barkley is, by ex-jock standards, interesting. However, any Twitter account put together under his name would hardly, to use a phrase that we’d hoped would be broken by now, break the internet.
Barkley obviously wouldn’t write any of the tweets himself, of course, which would leave that task up to hopeful comedy writers that know sports and also how to keep the bad jokes or pithy analysis within 140 characters. The result would probably align with the insufferable “NotBillWalton” Twitter account.
Once both the minds and advertisers behind the account became aware of such, stricken by the blandness, they’d probably try to throw out a few Barkley-styled “outrageous!” tweets in order to draw some attention. To supposedly keep the account within the expected Charles-style voice. Whether that would move to the realm of the offensive would be up to the lunkheaded tweeters behind “@CharlesBarkley.”
Because, again, it wouldn’t be Charles Barkley in 140 or less. Even his regularly scheduled “ask me anything” bits would be transcribed by someone else. It would be a sports version, without the laughs, of Conan O’Brien’s account – something run under Conan’s name, but put together (hilariously, this isn’t a diss) by a team of writers, working with material that eventually sounds like something Conan would say.
Finding a voice not unlike Charles’ wouldn’t be tough, but it probably wouldn’t be nearly as funny as Charles either. It’s hard to be funny about sports because sports are so funny and ridiculous to begin with that you don’t need further examination. It’s akin to making a quip about a YouTube video featuring a drunk guy falling off a trampoline with a roman candle clenched between his teeth – it’s not really necessary, as the initial fall was explanation enough. Though some people appear to have made quite a bit of money working up such quips.
On top of that, Charles is sated. He’s allowed to just about say whatever he wants, given he minds the FCC guidelines, for hours at a time on TNT. He hasn’t put out a book in 15 years, but he’d have book offers by the boatload if his representatives let it be known he was interested in a follow-up. And anytime during the offseason that he’d want to bloviate on Kevin Durant, or the home-field advantage rule in the MLB All-Star Game, or the next NFL suspension or Serena Williams, he has his pick of the nationally broadcast litter amongst sports talk radio shows.
In short, Charles Barkley doesn’t need Twitter. And we hope he’ll never need the money to eventually need Twitter.
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Kelly Dwyer is an editor for Ball Don’t Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at KDonhoops@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!
