CFRN - Monday, May 27, 2024 - 01:30 a.m. (ET) - Segment #1

(Dramatic music) Rhaenyra: We don't choose our destiny. It chooses us. >> If there's a serial killer loose in your neighbourhood, it seems like the safest thing is to be the neighbour. They never kill the neighbour. The neighbour always survives to do the interview afterwards, right? "Oh, he was kind of quiet." I love these neighbours. (Chuckles) They're never disturbed by the sounds of murdering, just stereo. Chainsaws, people screaming, fine, just keep the music down. And all these women that always fall in love with the serial killer. They write to him in prison. Here's a woman that's hard to disappoint. I guess she's only upset when she finds out he's stopped killing people and she goes, "You know, sometimes I feel like I don't even know who you are anymore." Yukon: What are you wearing? McCord: Black, I called shotgun on slimming black. Are you kidding me? It makes me look skinnier! Yukon: I wanted to wear black. McCord: I'm wearing black! It makes me look skinnier! (silence) Yukon: It's not THAT slimming. Announcer: Yukon and McCord on 100.3 (bear growl) The Bear The Floor Sample Sale is on now at McEhleran's Furniture, Shop one of a kind floor samples and save up to 60%, on now until June 1st Only At McElheran's, we'll help you find exceptional new furniture for personalized rooms you'll love and love to share. Here's a fresh take. We think burgers taste better when they're made with Canadian beef. Fresh onto the grill. Fresh off the grill. Never frozen. Always juicy. ( ) A refocused healthcare system in Alberta means... Some of the people in this waiting room won't have to be here. This family could have a practitioner to call their own. These patients could have more continuing care options. This person could be accessing mental health treatment. Leaving fewer people in Urgent Care who can now access more timely acute care. Giving every Albertan the care you need, when and where you need it. Learn more at Alberta.ca/FocusedCare A message from the Government of Alberta. With the price of gold tradingat a high levelnow is the time for you to sel Aaron Buys Gold makes it easyto recycle anything made of gold or silverfor instant cash! Visit Aaron Buys gold inSherwood Park and Downtown or go to AaronBuysGold.com A world of security,Lock Surgeon Door surgeon, tested tough,Garage d Bee Cool glass coatingsBee like the bubble Cool glass coatings uplifting uplifting [Wife] We wanted to find the best deals for our next fabulous trip. So we hired a private travel hacker. See all the ways that I can save you money? [Wife] Hmm. She works harder than any of our other employees. I just used Skyscanner. It searches billions of prices to get you the best deal in just one tap. -Billions? -How lux! Yeah, they're a little out of touch. Does the outfit go with this car? I don't eat cheese on Wednesdays. But they mean well. Someone's getting employee of the month. It's not you, Kelly. Start your day with CTV MorningLive for the breaking newsyou need to stay i "Gunshots. Part of a northside police investigation" Which developing stories couldimpact your day "The city has gone throughtough financial times" Find out what's happening inour community "This is the season where it'sjust bountiful" Whether you need to grab araincoat a parka some sunscreen or all three "We could see some rainpossibly some thunderstorms" Be prepared forthe day every day with CTV Morning LiveWeekdays from 6 to 9 It's Leon's Storewide Super Sale! Save up to 50% on furniture. Save up to 50% on mattresses. Plus, get an L2 washer and dryer set for only $998 including a 2 year warranty! Ends Wednesday! A NEW EPISODE OF GREY'S ANATOMY ON CTV >> Jerry:No, 8 years isn't such a long streak. >> It isn't? >> No, I haven't vomited in 13 years! (Audience laughter) >> Get out! >> Not since June 29, 1980. >> You remember the date? >> Yes, because my previous vomit was also June 29th... 1972. That's why during the '80 vomit, I was yelling to George: "Can you believe it? I'm vomiting on June 29th again." (Audience laughter) >> Boy, you know, when Joel told me he hadn't thrown up in 8 years, I was wondering if he was normal. >>No, Elaine, he's normal. Your boyfriend is a normal guy. He just happens to have the same name as one of the worst serial killers in the history of New York. >> Ah. (Audience laughter) (Knocking) Oh, Jer, I got to go. I got to

go. Hi. >> Hey! (Chuckles) We just saw your boyfriend at a bus stop. >> Oh, yeah? >> Yeah. What's his name? >> Joel. >> Joel what? >> Uh, (Coughs) Rifkin. (Audience laughter) >> Rifkin? Joel Rifkin? >> Yeah. It's-- it's just a coincidence, obviously. (Chuckles) >> Guess you better keep on his good side, huh? (Chuckling) >> Very funny. That's very funny. >> Yeah, I wouldn't sleep with my back to him if I were you. >> Alright. Yep, well, that's enough of that. That's enough. >> Hey, Elaine, listen. If you smell anything decaying in the trunk of his car... >> Okay, look this is my boyfriend we're talking about, okay? And he's a gentleman. He's good-looking, he's a good shaver and he hasn't thrown up in 8 years, so just shut up about him! Shut up! The whole city is talking about this monster Joel Rifkin, and I am dating a Joel Rifkin. >> But you like your Joel Rifkin. >> Yeah. I just-- I just wish he had a different name. >> Ask him to change it. (Audience laughter) >> Uh. You can't ask a person to change their name. >> Why not? >> We-- would you change yours? >> If someone asked me nicely. (Audience laughter) I'm Claude Seinfeld. (Audience laughter) >> Hey, how many people did Rifkin strangle? 18? >> Yeah. 18 strangles. >> Yeah. Well, you know why Rifkin was a serial killer? Because he was adopted. (Audience laughter) You know, just like Son of Sam was adopted. So, apparently adoption leads to serial killing, huh? (Thudding) (Audience laughter) >> You know, Joel and I have an extra ticket to the Giants game. >> I'll go. >> Okay. (Audience laughter) I'll leave the ticket for you at will call. >> Yeah! Woo! (Audience laughter) >> You think I should've asked George? >> Hey, did you hear that George got back with Karen? >> Karen? >> Risotto? >> I feel full after the risotto. (Audience laughter) >> Oh! The Risotto broad. >> Yeah. (Audience laughter) >> He's really got a good thing with her. In fact, I'm doubling with them tonight. >> I thought you didn't like double dates. >> George likes them. He feels it's a good personality showcase. (Audience laughter) He likes a date to see him with a friend so she can get a window into his non-date personality. (Audience laughter) >> I've looked through that window and screamed at him to shut the blinds. (Audience laughter) >> He feels he's funnier, more relaxed. >> Uh-huh. And you're taking... >> Jodi the masseuse. >> Hey, did you get a massage yet? >> No! How many times do I have to go out with her before I get a massage? (Audience laughter) >> Jerry, she gives massages all day. She doesn't want to give them on dates. >> Yeah, I know. She just wants to have sex. (Audience laughter) >> So what? >> So, it's like going to Idaho and eating carrots! (Audience laughter) I like carrots, but I'm in Idaho, I want a potato. (Audience laughter) >> So, I go into this clothing store and the saleswoman is wearing this, uh, (Whistles) low cut thing, you see. So I said to her: "Can I ask you a question? When you put on a top like that, what's your thought process? What's going on in your mind?" >> Oh, that is so funny! (Laughs) (Audience laughter) >> You're listening to this? >> Yeah. I heard you. >> Boy, my neck is killing me. (Audience laughter) Like, right in this spot. It's very tender over here. >> So, what did she say? >> Well, nothing. I didn't actually say that. (Laughs) >> You just said that you said it. >> Sweetheart, I was exaggerating. >> (Laughs) I'm learning a lot about you tonight, George. I've never seen you like this. >> It's like somebody's pulling on wires back here. (Audience laughter) >> You know, it's like you never see a really attractive woman getting a traffic ticket. >> How can you say that? My sister got a ticket last week. Are you saying she's not attractive? (Audience laughter) >> Well, I've never met your sister, but obviously these are not hard and fast rules. Uh, darling? The tea is getting a little cold, sweetheart. >> Can we go? >> Yeah. Let's go. >> So soon? >> Yeah. Good seeing you again, Karen. (Smooch) >> Yeah. >> Nice meeting you, Karen. >> Yeah, nice to meet you too, and I'm going to call you about that massage. >> Oh, yeah. >> Jodi, let's do this again soon. >> Yeah. (Chuckles nervously) >> I strained my neck last night. >> Really? (Audience laughter) >> Yeah. >> How? >> Well, I tried brushing my teeth by holding the brush and moving my head from side to side. (Audience laughter) Didn't work. >> So, what's the deal with your friend George? >> No deal. Why? >> What was all that "attractive women not getting tickets" nonsense? >> Oh, well, he was just showcasing his non-date personality. >> Mm. I don't know how you can hang out with that guy. >> Yeah. Sometimes he really makes me tense. >> I mean, did you see the way that he was eating? >> Yeah, he's disgusting. (Audience laughter) >> I have to tell you, I really don't like him. >> Yeah, me either. >> It's just I hate that type. >> Ah, he's a bad seed. (Audience laughter) >> Now you, however, you I like. (Smooching) >> Uh, what are you doing? (Audience laughter) >> What do you think I'm doing? (Audience laughter) >> So, what do you think? >> Really enjoyed it. >> Jodi's nice. >> She's very nice. (Chuckles)

Let's discuss this later. >> You think she liked me? She seemed to like me. >> Yeah, mm-hmm. >> I was personable. Don't you think I was personable? >> You were extremely personable. (Chuckling) >> 'Cause I thought I picked up a little something. I'm... (Audience laughter) I'm very good at this. Did-- did you pick up anything? >> I didn't pick up anything. >> The second time I sent the noodles back... (Audience laughter) ...I-- I thought she made a face. >> I didn't see a face. >> I thought I saw a face. (Audience laughter) >> Anyhow, what is the difference? >> Oh, no difference. I could care less. She's Jerry's girlfriend. (Chuckles) >> George, George, instead of talking about this, we could be, uh, you know. (Chuckling) >> So, you think she liked me? (Audience laughter) (Audience laughter) (Clattering) >> Ah! What are you doing? >> Massaging your neck. >> Oh. (Chuckles) Of course. Massaging. (Laughs) >> Uh, boning up on football? >> Yeah, yeah. You know what? (Clears throat) There are a lot of players named Dion these days. (Audience laughter) What a cool name; Dion. If I were going to change my name, I'd go with Dion. >> Dion Benes? >> Well, as a woman, it makes no sense. (Chuckles) >> Oh. >> But, I mean, well, let's say I was you and I decided I was going to change my name for no real reason whatsoever. Dion Rifkin. Wow. That is so cool. (Audience laughter) >> D-- Dion Rifkin? >> Well, maybe you're not the Dion type. Okay, then let's see, let's see, what do we got? (Gasps) Oh! Oh, oh, oh! OJ! (Gasps) OJ Rifkin! Oh, you don't even use a name, it's just initials. Oh, please, please, please change your name to OJ! Please, it would be so great! (Audience laughter) >> Elaine, what is going on? >> She stayed over? >> (Unenthusiastic) Yeah. >> Sex wasn't so good? >> No, sex was fabulous. (Audience laughter) >> So? >> I want the massage! (Audience laughter) >> Did you ask her? >> I tried putting her hands there, but she pulls it away immediately. She's not into it. >> Why not? >> I don't know, I guess 'cause it's her job. It's very frustrating. (Audience laughter) >> So, uh, we had a good time, huh? The four of us. >> Yeah. >> (Chuckles) We all got along. Everyone seemed very pleasant. >> Yeah. >> What did Jodi say? >> She had a good time. >> That it? >> Pretty much. (Audience laughter) >> Did she say anything about, uh... >> What? >> Nah, nah, it's alright. Great! She had a good time. >> Yeah. (Audience laughter) >> You just hesitated. >> I was blowing on the coffee! >> She didn't like me. >> Look, it's not like you're going to be spending a lot of time with her. >> So, she doesn't like me? >> No. (Audience laughter) >> She said that? >> Yes. >> She told you she doesn't like me? >> Yes. >> What were her exact-- >> "I don't like him." (Audience laughter) (Applause) >> Uh-huh. Why didn't she like me? >> Not everybody likes everybody! >> I tried to be nice. I wasn't nice? >> You were very nice! >> I bent over backwards for that woman! (Audience laughter) Was it 'cause of the thing I said about her sister? >> It has nothing to do with her sister! >> I don't even know her sister, but believe me, if she's getting traffic tickets, she's not that good-looking! Ah! (Audience laughter) You vomited in 1987. >> Oh, no. That was the dry heaves. (Audience laughter) Jodi! >> Hi, Jerry. >> Hey! (Chuckles) Hey! (Audience laughter) >> What are you doing here? >> I was giving Kramer a massage. >> Kramer. >> I got to run. I have an appointment downtown. >> Oh, here, here. Let me take your table downstairs for you. >> No, that's okay. >> Please, give it to me. I love to help people. This is what I do. Come on, I'm going this way. >> I'll see you tonight. >> Hey! I am looser than creamed corn. >> Yeah, well, who told you to get a massage from her? I haven't gotten a massage from her yet! >> Oh, you don't know what you're missing, buddy. (Audience laughter) >> No one hails a cab like me. (Chuckles) My hailing technique is unmatched. See, I get the wrist going from side to side here and boom! Cabs are crashing into themselves to just pick me up. (Chuckles) Alright, here we go. Ah, let me get door. Feminists aside, I know women like the door-holding. (Chuckles) Here we are. Alrighty. Good. Okay. Jodi, let's get together again real soon, alright? Say hello to your sister for me. >> You've never met. >> Whatever. (Chuckles) Believe me, if I wasn't involved right now, I wouldn't mind being set up. Something tells me she's a knockout! (Chuckles) (Audience laughter) >> Well, first she sets the mood perfectly with this new age music played over ocean sounds. Then she lays you out on this table and she proceeds to rub oil over your entire body. (Audience laughter)

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