Singer Matt Goss has spoken candidly for the first time about the death of his mother at his home, and how he struggled with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after she passed away.
His mum Carol died of cancer in 2014. At the time, the Bros star tweeted that it was “the hardest day of my life” but speaking on White Wine Question Time recently, he said the impact of her death is something that has taken years to get over.
“I actually went to see a grief counsellor after mum passed,” Matt told podcast host Kate Thornton. “She said I had PTSD because of what happened, and it didn't compute with me”
The singer, who has enjoyed a residency at Vegas for 10 years, moved his mum to LA to live with him during her final days, where his care for her involved draining her lungs every day.
“It’s a memory that I've never spoken about,” revealed Matt, “but it's one of those things that it's not just about leaving, it's the things that go into trying to keep her alive and trying to maintain her dignity.”
Talking about the end of her life, Matt explained that his mother’s death was quite violent and very sudden. He told Kate: “We got her an IV and that ruptured her stomach and it was a very, very violent experience that I saw.
“I knew that I wouldn't have a mother within 12 hours and sure enough it was 12 hours later she passed.”
Despite the graphic nature of his mum Carol’s death, Matt said he was happy to have been there when she died.
“It was something that I've worked through,” he said about the PTSD. “I managed to not see it every day now, but it was something that I'm glad I was there because that really was probably my mom's final moment.”
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Matt was speaking to Kate about how he wished he could go back in time and have a conversation with his mum about her favourite things.
“I didn't have that conversation. I was so terrified,” he explained. “I wish I'd gone back there and been less fearful and ask the questions that could keep me company now, you know, things that would allow me to paint a wall a certain colour that she loved.”
Matt also spoke about losing his sister Carolyn to a drunk driver. She was killed, alongside her friend, right at the height of Bros’ fame.
“She was one week away from going on a kibbutz to help people,” Matt said, “and was killed by a drunk driver and her best friend and himself, so three people died that day.”
He said the death of his mother and sister has been something he’s been struggling to get over for a long time and has only just started to feel better about himself.
“It's just been, I think, one of the things that I've come to terms with for the longest time,” he said. “I'm talking so recently that I felt guilty about being happy. I felt guilty about having a good time. I was like, ‘How do I have the right to feel happy when I've lost something?’ Now I'm starting to feel okay about being happy.”