The bride, who identifies herself as an adopted 28-year-old, writes that she has "not always gotten along" with her siblings — particularly her older sister Bev
A bride-to-be is stirring conversation on Reddit after asking users of the site whether she's in the wrong for wanting to leave her older sister out of her bridesmaid lineup at her upcoming nuptials.
The bride, who identifies herself as an adopted 28-year-old, writes that she has "not always gotten along" with her siblings — particularly her older sister Bev, 38.
"[We] have always had a very rocky relationship. To the point where we have had to be physically pulled apart, and I moved out of my parents' house at 18 to avoid living with her," the bride writes.
In more recent years, the relationship has continued to sour, with Bev refusing to speak to her sister and taking "passive-aggressive jabs" at her in Facebook posts — including posting that her sister was having a girl a week before her official gender reveal.
"A few months later, when she found out she was also pregnant, she admitted that she had done this on purpose because of her jealousy," the bride adds.
The relationship between the two is so tenuous, writes the bride, that Bev changed her name in her phone "to something along the lines of 'Lying Money User,' " which the bride says she discovered as Bev was showing her something in her phone.
"She has the habit that when she isn't the center of attention, she thrives on the drama that she creates," the bride writes of her older sister.
Now that the bride is planning her wedding, she has to determine who to have in her bridesmaid line — and she wants to include her younger sister, Kat, 24.
"My mom had asked me a month ago who I was going to have in my line. I told her that I wanted a few of my close friends and Kat," the bride writes on Reddit. "She asked if I was planning to ask Bev as well. I told her that I hadn't asked anyone yet, but no, I had no intention of asking Bev."
The bride continues: "Since then, it has been a constant lecture from my mom that I need to have Bev in my line. But I just don't agree that I have to have Bev as a bridesmaid."
While the bride acknowledges that the decision to exclude Bev will "cause some contention," she says that including her would lead to "nothing but pointed comments, trying to guilt/convince me to do something she wants, and drama."
"Weddings are stressful enough, and I don't want the added stress," the bride adds. "I want to enjoy planning my wedding and getting married to the love of my life."
Ending her post with a query to fellow Reddit users about whether she should stick to her guns or include Bev, the bride received a litany of responses — most of them supportive.
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"You have very valid reasons for not wanting her in the bridal party," wrote one commenter. "Double down on your decision and make it clear to your mom that you are not changing your mind AND that you won’t talk about it anymore."
Others said that Bev shouldn't even be invited to the ceremony, let alone included in the bridal party. "It's your wedding!! It's up to you and your fiancé to decide who is in your wedding party and who is in attendance. Bev sounds awful, I wouldn't even invite her, much less ask her to be a bridesmaid," wrote one Reddit user.
Another was more forceful, writing that the original poster's wedding day should reflect "the joy and connection you want to celebrate with your partner."
"Bev's past behavior indicates a propensity for stirring discord, which is exactly what you don't need on such a significant day," they added. "You have the right to choose a bridal party that supports and uplifts you, not one that brings anxiety and strife. Trust your gut and curate a day filled with love, not resentment."
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