Brad Marchand, Las Vegas and NHL suspensions (Puck Daddy Countdown)

(Ryan Lambert takes a look at some of the biggest issues and stories in the NHL, and counts them down.)

7 – DOPS

Rough week for the NHL Department of Player Safety. Two dumb-ass repeat offenders in Andrew Shaw and Radko Gudas get a combined three preseason games for dangerous hits. The Shaw one was a joke because he tried to kill a prospect who may or may not have slew-footed him, and three preseason games literally costs him zero dollars. He probably wouldn’t have played in all of them anyway.

The Gudas hit on Jimmy Vesey was one of those things where I get why he didn’t have a call from DOPs on his voicemail the second the game ended, because Vesey turned into the hit and wasn’t hurt and all that. But honestly this is Radko Gudas we’re talking about here, and of all the people who might have earned the benefit of the doubt in this league for a borderline hit, he’s basically the polar opposite of one.

DOPS doesn’t suspend people any more. Since Brendan Shanahan went to the Leafs, they’ve been very lax. Let ’em play and all that. I think it’s stupid. Because you’re facing a concussion lawsuit and also maybe not letting guys get crushed by brainless goobers like these two should be a little higher on your priority list. People don’t pay to see them, people pay to see Skilled Players.

6 – Knights

We’re officially closer to knowing what the Las Vegas NHL team is going to be called. Of course, we should have just been told by now. Probably told a while ago, now that we’re actually talking about it.

But here are the three possibilities to fill in the blank in front of _______ Knights: Desert, Gold, and Silver.

Well, they’re all not that good. To be expected given what we always had to figure with any expansion team in recent NHL history. (Seriously: Wild, Blue Jackets, Thrashers, and Predators really needed a little more time in the oven, even if we’re used to them by now.)

But here’s the infuriating part: Bill Foley’s glee with this whole process. He told Josh Cooper he decided on a team name a month and a half ago. That means we’re probably going to be looking at as much as 60 days from decision to announcement. And also, he literally said, “I’ve had fun on the name, but I never floated a fake name.” Which is of course silly, because if you register 40 different names, or whatever the number was, that’s floating fake names. No one buys that you ever seriously considered “Nighthawks.”

Anyway, the sooner we can get through making fun of the name, we can start the process of making fun of the logo and mascot, which is all we’ve ever really wanted.

5 – Wearing white

So the Panthers and Stars both wore white jerseys in an exhibition game, which they shouldn’t have done. Very confusing for everyone, folks!!!

You know what would have been cool? If they’d both worn their color jerseys. Red versus green. Wouldn’t that have been so fun? That’s just a thing the league should do anyway. To some extent there’s a problem because so many teams are either blue or red, so you have a lot of problems going color-on-color in, say, the Metro. But there’s no reason for a red and green team to have to go to their boring old white jerseys if they don’t have to. Let alone doubling up.

Because hey, didn’t the league switch to “color jerseys at home” because people just want to buy color jerseys first and foremost anyway? Huh, seems like a pretty easy marketing move here, right? The whole reason one team wears dark and the other wears whites at home is so you could tell the difference on black and white TVs. I think we’re a bit past that now.

Go to color jerseys as the default! It’s a good idea!

4 – Betting lines

Something to keep in mind as NHL season betting lines come out this week: Gambling like that is illegal in most states.

Something else to keep in mind as NHL season betting lines come out: You can usually find a handful of O/U lines that will easily make you a lot of money if you’re paying the slightest bit of attention.

But it’s illegal, gang! Remember that!

3 – Controversy

In college hockey this week, there were a bunch of punch-ups in exhibition games against Canadian schools. Bowling Green and CIS school Windsor featured a bench-clearing brawl in which three Falcons were suspended and 168 penalty minutes were handed out.

However, the Merrimack/New Brunswick featured 172 PIM. And BU/Prince Edward Island had122 (62 of which were for 31 separate minor penalties!!!). And Northeastern/Acadia had 114.

And in fact, in the Merrimack game, a New Brunswick goaltender who was ejected by officials was alleged to have swung his stick at a child who was heckling him. Which isn’t that so nice?

Which, hey, maybe stop scheduling Canadian schools. Because we complain about this every year. And then look who’s on the schedule every October. It keeps happening. Wild. Crazy. Weird.

2 – Whatever that Coyotes marketing thing was

Pretty great to see the current Coyotes marketing staff throw their predecessors under the bus with that open letter to no one in particular.

Like, was it for Coyotes fans who were disenfranchised by previous marketing campaigns? Do you think any such person actually exists? They can’t, right? A conversation that never happened: “Well, kids, though we’re just a few of the 10,000 hockey diehards in the greater Glendale area, this Coyotes marketing campaign is so bad that I have canceled our season tickets. Now we’re Suns fans. Get to work memorizing these Eric Bledsoe stats.”

The best part, of course, was that “Coyotes 2.0” is also really a dumb, pandering marketing campaign. Especially because this at least Coyotes 4.0 and probably closer to 5.5.

But hey, why not throw crap at the wall and see what works? Nothing else has.

1 – Hero Brad Marchand, The People’s Champian

Peace and love to everyone who has accepted Brad Marchand into their hearts. He’s been amazing for years but you haven’t noticed and now you have so no hard feelings, really.

(Not ranked this week: Nothing again!

College hockey started this week and I just want to hug everyone about it. My favorite thing in the world is back and let’s just have some tea and talk about how good it is!)

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All statistics via War On Ice unless otherwise noted.)

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