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American Muscle Car Terrorizes Australian Neighborhood

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This isn’t going to be good for international relations…


“A beast of a car” – that’s how a local reporter characterized a Pontiac Trans Am after it terrorized an Australian neighborhood before crashing. Of course as we all know American muscle cars are horribly dangerous and absolutely drive themselves, absolving the person who may or may not have been behind the wheel of all responsibility. Sadly, the so-called driver in this incident had to be carted off on a stretcher with a neck brace attached, all thanks to the assault muscle car’s reckless behavior.

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The reporter detailed out how one neighbor claimed the Pontiac Trans Am was “deliberately fish tailing” before the accident. This sure sounds like a case right up there with Christine, only this time a malevolent spirit didn’t go Mopar.

Another detail the newscast in Australia definitely wants you to focus on: the high capacity of this assault muscle car of foreign origin. You see, it’s packing a 7.4-liter (sorry, litre) V8 high-capacity engine, something you absolutely don’t need for commuting or hunting down pedestrians (just as an EcoBoost Mustang owner, they know). There’s absolutely no reason for any citizen to own such a machine of mass destructive power.

Naturally, being an American muscle car, this Trans Am took out its natural born enemy: a Volkswagen Passat. Sure, on the newscast they try pretending the VW was parked and minding its own business, but we all know better.

For now, police and the local news are hunting down any dashcam footage of this mass muscle car mayhem incident. We also hope they’re offering counseling services for the people who had to witness the carnage as well as pushing for legislation Down Under to ensure citizens can’t own this kind of dangerous and unnecessary weaponry.

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