Am I Wrong for Lying to Get Out of My Best Friend's $8K Destination Wedding?

Am I Wrong For Bailing On My Friend's $8K Wedding?Oleh_Slobodeniuk - Getty Images

Picture this: Your bestie is getting married, and it was "an automatic given" that you'd be a bridesmaid. Only thing is, the wedding is set to take place thousands of miles away in a remote Scandinavian town and the ceremony has just been moved up an entire year, making it just four months away. As a result of this last-minute switcharoo, the trip will cost you a staggering $8,000, if not more.

That's precisely the predicament one Reddit user has found herself in, and she's considering lying to get out of the wedding altogether.

According to the woman (who did not reveal her name), she is financially stable and has been saving money...but for a completely different trip: her 10th anniversary getaway to Japan.

"Between flights, the hotel... the rental car, the bridesmaid dress, the full traditional outfit required to be worn for some the the events, pet boarding, as well as general incidentals and we are looking at a minimum $8,000," she wrote.

She did write that she had her own destination wedding in Alaska back when her friends were fresh out of college and low on cash. And it was attended by the woman who's now getting married in Scandinavia.

She's been thinking of concocting a lie to get out of it. "My idea was to lie and say we have to do a major home repair (fixing the foundation maybe) that will cost all of what we have saved plus more, then when it did come time for the Asia trip say we were gifted the trip by my husband's parents," she wrote.

Unsurprisingly, this scenario has sparked a juicy debate in the comments over the proper etiquette here. Here's where people stand:

Guests should never go broke to attend a wedding.

Most Reddit users can't seem to get past spending $8,000 on a friend's wedding.

"8K is almost how much my entire wedding cost. Not the cost per guest," said one user.

Others were surprised that the bride-to-be would bring up the woman's anniversary trip fund.

"Also, it was pretty rude to expect your friend to use their ten year anniversary fund which they have been saving up for a while on your wedding," read one comment.

Honesty really is the best policy.

A number of people pointed out that the entire situation could go a lot smoother if the woman is open about having recently purchased her anniversary flight tickets and not being able to afford the wedding.

"Please just tell your friend that you can't afford the trip. Also, it is unfair for your friend to essentially spend your money - meaning she knows you have money saved for a special trip, and for her to assume that you want to use THIS money for HER is ridiculous," one person wrote.

"If you can’t be honest with her, is it really a friendship worth saving?" someone else pointed out.

Overall, most comments in the thread leaned toward not attending the wedding, but being honest about her decision not to. There didn't appear to be a single comment urging the woman to attend the $8,000 wedding in Scandinavia.

We have to ask: Where do you stand on this?

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