Alexander Skarsgård just did a 5-minute suitcase commercial. We've got questions.

Writer, Yahoo Entertainment
Yahoo TV

Ever wondered why you might need a $600-plus performance suitcase? If that question has been weighing heavily on your mind, you’re in luck: Luggage brand Tumi has just released an epic, five-minute commercial starring Alexander Skarsgård (True Blood, Big Little Lies) that will have you ready to justify that purchase in no time flat.

That is, if you’re able to make sense of the commercial. It’s touting Tumi’s newest premium, hard-shell solution, the Tumi Latitude, which according to a press release is “built to handle any journey with the utmost class.”

Skarsgård silently (really, he doesn’t utter a word throughout) exhibits this by wielding his trusty case through a variety of adventurous locations, including Hungary, Lake Como (no, he doesn’t visit the Clooneys, unfortunately), the Pacific Northwest, and Mongolia. Along the way, the case receives some wear and tear but remains functional and stylish. 

Alexander Skarsgård lounging on the job. (Photo: Courtesy of Tumi)
Alexander Skarsgård lounging on the job. (Photo: Courtesy of Tumi)

All well and good? Ready to plunk down your credit card? Well, not so fast. There are so many unanswered questions about this inscrutable ad that we are almost worried about the overall credibility of the product and whether this mysterious, classy suitcase will actually do all that it is touted to do.

The first question is: What is this, besides a pleasant extended video of Skarsgård looking hot? It might not actually be an ad at all. Could it be a James Bond audition in disguise?

Then there’s the simple matter of logistics. Does he really need to have his case with him at all times? Why would anyone deliberately dip a piece of luggage costing more than $600 into the water? And if the case never leaves his side, and he’s not afraid of getting it wet, where did the case go during that steamy make-out moment in the lake?

YouTube/Tumi
YouTube/Tumi

And there’s more! Why is he using the case as a pillow in a barn, when there’s a much more comfortable-looking bale of hay available? What is it about this case?

And, aside from the case, how does Skarsgård manage to keep that nice light-colored suit looking so clean and crisp during the entire journey through remote locales? 

One has to wonder: Is it the case itself, or the adventure that makes it all so sexy and worth the money? Is a suitcase on wheels actually sexy? Will the suitcase still be as glamorous of a chick-magnet if the only place it travels to is one’s parents’ house in the Midwest, or is this seductive attractiveness potent only in scenic locations?

And … the biggest unsolved mystery of all: WHAT IS IN THE CASE?

We may never know. But you can, indeed, buy the piece and see for yourself if it works out as well for you as it did for the Emmy-winning actor. Let us know how it goes.

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