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Sorry, Millennials, But Your Names Might Now Be Considered "Old People" Names By The Youths

Since I am not a teen with a running Snapstreak in the 100s, it seems like every minute I spend online, I discover something new about what the "kids these days" think.

Screenshot of a Snapchat Chat screen with various messages, some delivered and one opened, displaying emojis and score numbers
u/omafist / Via reddit.com

And today I learned that our fabulous, popular, and treasured names of the '90s — you know, when you had Jessica C., Jessie H., and Jess F., all in one classroom — are not only no longer in vogue, but also, by Gen Alpha's judgement, are now considered "old people" names.

Teacher in a dress interacting with children sitting on a classroom rug in the 1990s
Hutchings Stock Photography / Getty Images

Amber Cimiotti, a 37-year-old stay-at-home mom from Las Vegas, took to TikTok to report the recent discovery, thanks to the observations from her 5-year-old daughter. She said, "The other day my daughter told me the name Ashley or Amanda, or my name is Amber, are 'old people' names, and I never thought about it this way."

Closeup shots of Amber
@ciaoamberc / Via tiktok.com

Amber continued, "She's like, 'Yeah, my teachers' names are Miss Erika, Miss Samantha. There's Amandas and Ashleys.' And she's like, 'Those are just old people names.'"

Three frames of Amber talking in a car with captions discussing "teachers names" and "old people names"
@ciaoamberc / Via tiktok.com

"Whereas like young people names — like my daughter's Scarlett, there are Charlottes, there are Olivias, there are Penelopes, there are Isabellas, there are Bellas, there are Ellas — those are young people names."

Amber in a car expressing a thought about names including her daughters
@ciaoamberc / Via tiktok.com

Amber admitted, "I mean, for me, Ashley is always going to be like, my friend from elementary, so it just seems like a kid name to me, but it's not."

Woman in car expressing thoughts on the name Ashley, relating it to a childhood friend

Amber finished with a bit of a revelation for millennials: "Ashley, Amanda, Amber — all of these names are basically the new Margaret or Barbara."

Woman in car discussing popular names, comparing them to Margaret or Barbara
@ciaoamberc / Via tiktok.com

The comments were an absolute hoot with reactions — one person said, "If you got a shoutout in Mambo Number 5, congrats you now have a granny name."

Three social media comments joking about the name Jessica being in the song "Mambo Number 5"

One person said, "They have no clue that they have the old people names," which is SO fair. According to the Social Security Administration, the top 10 most popular baby girl names for 2023 were Olivia, Emma, Charlotte, Amelia, Sophia, Isabella, Ava, Mia, Evelyn, and Luna.

Two user comments on social media joking about old people names being considered new names

Love that Josh is now considered a "dad name." Josh is pretty much every other boy I went to school with.

A tweet by Missytweets reads, "My daughter told me a kid in her class has a dad name. Kids name is Josh" with laughing emoji, showing time and likes
@ciaoamberc / Via tiktok.com

And I am absolutely shook hearing "Grandma Brittany."

Profile photo of a person next to a comment about "Grandma Brittany and Grandpa Justin" with a skull emoji, likes and reply info visible
@ciaoamberc / Via tiktok.com

Personally, I think now is the time to name your child a millennial name because it's a pretty surefire way that others in their class won't have their name. (Though I understand they may get picked on for having what they think is an 'old person' name.) BUT in 20 years — I predict the return of the Ashleys, Amandas, Jennifers, and Ambers. And maybe it'll happen sooner than we think...

Text from a social media post about a baby named "Jennifer," a name the poster hasn't seen in NICU in 20 years
@ciaoamberc / Via tiktok.com

Anyhoo, I think this is all in good fun, and I look forward to the day when there's Grandma Ashleys and Amandas running around.