Random musings of footballers before they fall asleep…

Didier Zokora

Yep. ... I am Maestro. ... From now on, if anyone wants to talk to me, they'll have to address me as "Maestro." ... "Hey Maestro, do you want a glass of water?" .... "Maestro, come help us with this 2,500-piece jigsaw puzzle." ... "Wow, is this really your recipe for peach cobbler, Maestro?" ... This is so great. ... Although, it is still a little upsetting that they wouldn't let me put "Dr. Tetris" on the back of my shirt like I originally wanted. ... But whatever. ... Maestro is still pretty cool too, I guess...

Gerard Pique

I can't believe I'm a dad now. ... I also can't believe that the birthing process was less bloody than me on a normal day of living. ... I hope that time they sprayed magic spray directly into my mouth doesn't make the baby weird. ... Maybe "Milan" wasn't the best name to give our son. ... Maybe we should have called him something more awesome like "Maestro" or "Dr. Tetris." ... I wonder if Milan's first words will be "waka waka." ... I hope he got my beard genes. ... Real Madrid are such a mess right now...

Ball Boy

WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN TORRES

Kitier Katba

Time for the long overdue disgraces. ... First, Didier didn't take me to the Africa Cup of Nations because the airline said I was so fat that I would tilt the plane. That's a sizeist f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Daniel Purridge moved to Liverpool and now he won't stop singing "You'll Never Walk Alone." That's a pretentious f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Katou keeps sending postcards and making me feel bad for noting caring enough to write back. That's a guilt-trippy f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Chelsea sacked Roberto Di Matteo, hired Rafa Benitez, got knocked out of the Champions League, lost the Club World Cup, got knocked out of the Capital One Cup and said they won't give Frank Lampard a new contract. That...that's a...