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Frank Lampard's brief debut in a Man City shirt weirds everyone out

Frank Lampard's brief debut in a Man City shirt weirds everyone out

Frank Lampard always said he would never play or another Premier League club after Chelsea. In his 13 years there, he became the club's all-time top scorer and lifted 13 trophies, including the European Cup. When his contract expired at the end of last season, he joined New York City FC — a new club that will not play their inaugural MLS season until 2015. So in the meantime, they loaned him to parent club Manchester City for six months. Though he toed the company line, this was a move that Lampard didn't seem terribly thrilled about given his previous statements.

Lampard made his City debut against Arsenal, starting in place of Yaya Toure. This jarring vision prompted many to comment on the weirdness of seeing the 36-year-old midfielder in a different shade of blue. And judging by his lackluster performance, he seemed to feel like he was having a bad acid trip, as well.

 (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)
 (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)

Lampard: John! Has Jose arrived yet?

Kompany: For the last time, I'm not John Terry. My name is Vincent. I'm not telling you again.

Lampard: Sorry, John. I mean Vincent. Sorry. But do you know when Jose is getting here? Vincent? Vincent? John? Please?

(Getty)
(Getty)

Lampard: OK, I need you to do something for me because I'm starting to hyperventilate. Do you see the Premier League winners' badge on my right sleeve? I need you to rip it off for me. I didn't win the Premier League last season. I finished third with Chelsea. So wearing this badge is really making me freak out and I can't breathe. So please just rip it off for me and I promise I won't lose consciousness and fall on you.

(Getty)
(Getty)

Lampard: Psst! Danny! Why are we playing Man United v Chelsea at the Emirates?

Welbeck: Stop talking to me, Frank! I'm trying to concentrate and you're being weird.

(Getty)
(Getty)

"Even after getting booked, I don't feel a thing. Could this be some kind of virtual reality experiment that I'm taking part in? Did my soul get transported into the FIFA 15 manager mode of a gloryhunting 12-year-old who switched allegiances from Chelsea to City? What if nothing was ever real in the first place? Life. Is. Deceit."

Lampard was then replaced by Samir Nasri at halftime, presumably because he was sobbing in the fetal position and shouting "I want to go home!" and Manuel Pellegrini decided he wasn't in the right frame of mind to continue. And that was Frank Lampard's debut for Manchester City.

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Brooks Peck

is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter!