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The FA has a new code of conduct for England players

Dirty Tackle

The FA has instituted a new set of guidelines for England players -- that have absolutley nothing to do with John Terry being found guilty of misconduct and Ashley Cole having to apologize for doing Ashley Cole things. Though the new code doesn't set out to "ban players for life," it does finally clarify the things that common sense should tell them they can't do.

From the Guardian:

David Bernstein, the FA chairman, believes the new rules, which include separate sections for when players are on England duty or with their clubs, should have been brought in "years ago" but would make it "crystal clear" where they stood. England's senior squad were presented with the code on Monday night in a 10-minute presentation after gathering at the FA's new £105m national training centre, St George's Park, in Staffordshire ahead of Friday's World Cup qualifier against San Marino. [...]

The FA was keen to stress that the code of conduct, which encompasses rules on discrimination and the use of social media, had been in development since January and there was no direct link with the Terry or Cole cases. [...]

It is understood the code encompasses three sections: one on general conduct, applicable whether the player is with England or not; another on conduct and behaviour when players are with England; and a third on how any breach will be dealt with. Sanctions are not laid out in the six-page document but will range from fines to bans and will be decided by the Club England management board.

DT has obtained a copy of the document, so we can present those three sections to you in full. Here they are...

General Conduct

-Don't be racist.
-Don't say or do anything that Ashley Cole would say or do.
-If you decide to use Twitter, you may only use the words "hugs" and "geezers" (see: David Luiz).

Conduct and behavior when with England

-For players who are not Joe Hart: Play halfway decent for once.
-For players who are Joe Hart: Be flawless.
-For all: Act like an adult. Seriously. It's really not difficult. Also, chew with your mouths closed.

How any breach will be dealt with

-Any player in violation of this code will be forced to shake hands with Prince William while staring at the ground in shame as his teammates laugh at him (see sample image below) for no less than 120 minutes. He will also be forced to go to bed without any sweets.