Denmark's noble attempt to overcome its difficult group draw ended in disappointment as it lost 2-1 to Germany in its final Group B match, preventing it from advancing to the knockout rounds after taking three points in its matches against Portugal and the Netherlands.
Denmark kept the Germans at bay for much of the match, but an 80th-minute Lars Bender goal ended the deadlock the Danish had been clinging to since Michael Krohn-Dehli equalized five minutes after Lu-Lu-Lu Lukas Podolski's 19th-minute opening goal. And though Denmark's two secret weapons, "Viking" and "Terminator" (pictured above), were in Lviv as spectators, the match would've gone much differently had they played.
After all, Mesut Ozil would've been no match for Viking's bushy intimidation beard and Thomas Muller would've messed his pants after kicking the ball through Terminator's head and watching as he heals himself before shape-shifting into a red-eyed Pele.
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- Lukas Podolski