Sochi Olympics - While you were sleeping

While the United States slept, things were busy on the other side of the globe. Here is our recap of everything Olympics you may have missed overnight.

The first gold medal of the Sochi Games goes to … Sage Kotsenburg of Team USA! The 20-year-old from Park City, Utah, stomped a 93.5 on his first run of the inaugural Olympic slopestyle contest and watched it hold up in a massive upset. Here's how that drop-out Shaun White feels:

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The U.S. Women’s hockey team beat Finland 3–1.  They set the tone early: Forward Hilary Knight scored a goal in the first 53 seconds.

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Remember that Russian snowboarder who put his phone number on his helmet? The massive influx of, uh, intimate photos nearly broke his iPhone.
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The infamous Olympic ring fail is now immortalized on T-shirts. It’s 100 percent cotton and shame.

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Speaking of the Opening Ceremony, our columnist watched it at a gay bar in Sochi. Despite what the mayor says, there are gay people in Sochi.
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#SochiProblems continue: A U.S. bobsledder was locked inside his hotel room — so he broke it down  and tweeted this glorious proof:

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Those ugly sweaters — uh, we mean Team USA cardigans — are selling on Ebay for more than your month’s rent.

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And Carl's Jr. won social media: