Puck Daddy Power Rankings: NHL suspension explosion; puck luck; tanking for McDavid

[Author's note: Power rankings are usually three things: Bad, wrong, and boring. You typically know just as well as the authors which teams won what games against who and what it all means, so our moving the Red Wings up four spots or whatever really doesn't tell you anything you didn't know. Who's hot, who's not, who cares? For this reason, we're doing a power ranking of things that are usually not teams. You'll see what I mean.]

6. Player discipline

Remember last week when I said all that stuff about how well-behaved everyone had been for most of October went out the window with a few suspensions being handed out in rapid succession? Yeah, now it looks like the league as a whole is really trying to make up for lost time.

There was nothing before Oct. 26 (apart from the deeply unfortunate Slava Voynov incident, but that didn't happen on the ice). No fines, no suspensions. Since then, though, John Scott, John Moore, Alex Burrows, Jordan Nolan, Anton Volchenkov and then Andrew Ference all got canned for at least two games apiece. A few other guys probably should have gotten a call as well.

This is what makes the league so difficult to watch sometimes. There's no reason that six guys should be suspended in the course of any given week, because there shouldn't be this many dirty plays still happening. Most of these weren't the result of “Oh oops I kinda caught the guy as he was turning,” or whatever, but rather deliberate attempts to put players on the shelf.

There's really only one solution to this problem, and it's not, as the league has really banked on over the last few years, little more than kind of crossing your fingers and toes and hoping the bad hitting will go away. It's hitting offenders hard with actual, heavy fines and suspensions that will make them realize they can't play this way.

Like John Scott, right? The guy can barely play hockey, and he leaves the bench to fight someone. But because it was like kinda sorta maybe a little bit of a line change, if you squinted at it the right way, the automatic (repeat: automatic) 10-game ban got reduced to just two. John Moore only got five games for his second identical headshot on an opponent in something like 15 actual games from last season to this one. Jordan Nolan only got two for boarding Darren Helm despite the fact that he got suspended last March as well.

Meanwhile, Chris Kreider boarded the absolute hell out of someone and didn't even get as much of a fine as Milan Lucic did for making a gesture to Montreal fans.

Stephane Quintal is proving to be just as much of a gutless PR-conscious wimp in his job as Brendan Shanahan was later in his tenure. Everything's a hockey play unless you put someone on a stretcher. There was talk that the John Moore hit on Erik Haula was only five games because if it was six, he would have been able to appeal it. Oh no, not an appeal! If Bettman had his Player Safety head's back at all, the threat of appeal wouldn't matter at all, but ever since the justified Raffi Torres 25-gamer was effectively cut to eight games plus time served — which was ludicrous — the Department of Player Safety hasn't had any kind of stick at all. Fifteen games to Shawn Thornton? Should have been 40.

If the league actually cares about player safety, it will start slamming offenders early and often, with big suspensions like those Shanahan doled out in that first preseason. Instead, Quintal made it clear that he's going to be just as much of a feckless flak as his predecessor.

5. The Ducks' goaltending situation

Frederik Andersen is, fortunately, just day-to-day with some muscle problems, but with John Gibson on the shelf for the next six weeks, any hope the Ducks have of getting competent goaltending for the next few games is probably going to be minimal.

How does “starter Jason LaBarbera” sound to you? How does “backup Igor Bobkov sound?”

Okay, so there's good news, first of all. The Ducks had a four-point lead on every other team in the West at the time Gibson's injury was announced. They're gonna need all the padding they can find. The other good news is that they don't give up a lot of shots. Through their first 13, they conceded just 27.8 per night, ninth-best in the league.

But to this point, their goaltenders have, understandably, been a big reason for their success. Andersen's even-strength save percentage was currently fourth in the league at .950, and Gibson wasn't far behind at .942. Since 2010, LaBarbera's is .918 in 59 games, which is awful (and explains why he spent most of last year in the AHL). Bobkov has never played in the NHL, but he did appear in 29 games in the ECHL last season.

So things are, shall we say, worrisome in Anaheim. They just better hope Corey Perry scores enough that they win 5-4 every night.

4. The Rangers M*A*S*H* unit

Speaking of injury trouble, what wizard's son did Alain Vigneault run over in the offseason?

Derek Stepan still hasn't played a game this season (but could be back next week), Dan Boyle is still nursing a broken hand, Mats Zuccarello just came back from a lower body injury, Kevin Klein's status is a little unclear right now. And then Ryan McDonagh, one of the best defensemen in the league, is on the shelf for as much as a month with a separated shoulder.

The problem for the Rangers is that they are not like the Ducks. They're already sitting a little back of the leaders in their division, and if the Islanders can get their heads on straight they might be in a position to really put their biggest rivals in a hole. Not that Philadelphia or, to a lesser extent, Washington is really going to give them a run for their money; all the good Rangers will probably be healthy at some point, and they won't have to dress Dylan McIlrath ever again.

But until then, things are likely to remain tough. Which isn't fair, because these Rangers should probably be better than they have been. Look what they've gone through. Maybe think about wrapping Henrik Lundqvist in bubble wrap until then.

3. Johnny Gaudreau

Obviously I have been singing the praises of Gaudreau for quite a while now, and finally his play at the NHL level is reflecting my steadfast belief that he can be a top-line wing if he gets a little bit of help from coaches and linemates.

Yeah, it's really only been three games in which he's really brought the heat of late, but that's three games against decent teams (Montreal, Nashville, and Montreal again), and he's put up not only 1-4-5, and not only 14 shots on goal, but also driven play pretty convincingly with a plus-12 fenwick. He's obviously being sheltered from tough competition and being kept away from his own zone when Bob Hartley can avoid, which is smart with an undersized 21-year-old rookie, but after starting the season with one shot on goal in his first five games, he's really making a much bigger difference overall. If he keeps it up, the Calder race is going to be a tough one to call.

And then there was this video, which surfaced this week. Here's little(r) Johnny Gaudreau circa 2003, ripping apart defenses in very familiar fashion: A million little touches of the puck, tiny strides that make his feet look almost impossibly active at all times, and a lot of awareness of his space on the ice. He's nine years old in this video. He plays the exact same way, except these days he probably would have shot on that initial zone entry.

2. Getting the bounces 

Last year, the Colorado Avalanche had a record of 15-8 when the game went to overtime or a shootout. That's an extra 15 points being taken from results that, mathematically, become a coin flip once regulation ends. And 15 points was the difference between their winning the division and barely making the playoffs.

This year, they started out winless when extra time began. Patrick Roy is, perhaps understandably, flabbergasted: “We're 0-for-5 in overtime and the shootout. We're going to have to put some in if we're going to win these games.”

That kind of insight is why he won the Jack Adams last year, folks. But the fact is that we've had the shootout for a long time now, and we have enough data to show that these results aren't really something you can keep up over a long period of time (that's also mostly true of the ability to win a lot of one-goal games, of which the Avs won 27 last year). And so all that “puck luck” they had last year has evaporated, which explains all the totally predictable losing the team is now doing.

Roy's thinking is, “We have to score more,” and yeah, obviously. But all that stuff about keeping up shot quality because of Their System isn't working. They're shooting 8.3 percent after going 10.1 percent last year. Funny how that all works, isn't it?

On the other side of the coin were the woefully unlucky New Jersey Devils. The Devils hadn't won a shootout in two years before Oct. 30, and they finally did it by edging the Jets, 2-1. Fittingly, Jacob Josefson's goal was the only one of the entire shootout. That almost makes too much sense.

But here's the thing, the last two years plus this one, the Devils were also right around average in overtime as well, going 11-9. And hey, what do you know, it seems as though Peter DeBoer isn't about to let even one result make him think things are turning around: “A win changes your whole perspective on everything. At the same time, I think we’re smart enough to recognize that we have a lot of areas we can improve and we’ve got to keep working at that and that was the message today.”

One of these guys is an actual good NHL coach who's just been super-unlucky for a few seasons. The other is one who isn't, and whose team is probably going to continue losing more OT games than it wins. If it even gets that far.

1. Tanking, hard

There was a hilarious chart tweeted out yesterday that showed just how far behind the rest of the league Buffalo is in terms of actually having the puck. Things are so bad that while they may technically be in the NHL, you have to wonder how much longer that's going to last before everyone invites them to a cool party but no one else shows up.

But now we're starting to see why they're doing what they're doing. Connor McDavid is the big get, but if or when Buffalo finishes 30th in the league again, they only have a 20 percent chance of landing him. Meanwhile, Jack Eichel is the consolation prize. And both are terrorizing their respective amateur leagues.

As highlighted in yesterday's NCAA wrap-up, Eichel is on 1.8 points per game in his first five appearances for Boston University, a number few players in college hockey reach even when they're not just-barely 18 years old. He has 6-plus shots on goal per game, and he's turning good linemates into scoring juggernauts. All while playing against players as much as seven years older than him.

The highest draft pick in recent memory to come out of the NCAA in his actual draft year, rather than a Junior-A league, was Jonathan Toews, who went third overall in 2006. And Toews was pretty good, going 22-17-39 for North Dakota in 42 games. Eichel would have to slow down precipitously to sink to just 0.93 points per game (and he might; it's still very early). That's really not a bad consolation prize.

But McDavid, man. The kid is only 17, playing in a league with players who can be as much as 20, and he has 42 points in 14 games. Three a night. By comparison, Sidney Crosby “only” put up 2.71 per (168 in 62) in a higher-scoring QMJHL.

You really, really can't blame anyone involved in this race to the bottom. Either way, you get a future superstar.

(Not ranked this week: Alex Ovechkin's IQ.

This video from three know-nothing chuckleheads at 120 Sports features the following REAL quotes about Alex Ovechkin's defense being the reason the Capitals aren't winning a million games:

“He's not smart enough to realize that he has to change his game.”

“Is it intelligence, or is it desire..” “I think that's part of it. I really think that's part of it. He's not a smart guy, and I think that's part of the problem. He doesn't understand, you know, what's going on around him.”

Which is just astonishing. Like, obviously Ovechkin's not scoring as he used to, with just 3-2-5 in 11 games at even strength (though that ignores his 3-3-6 on the power play, obviously).  But boy is he ever driving possession at 5-on-5, with a CF% of 57.7!

To be fair to these hosts, who obviously wanted to spew extremely hot takes rather than do any kind of research, he has been on the ice for 10 goals against, and only eight for. But the reason for that, you'll never guess: His on-ice save percentage is .841!

Guess Braden Holtby's too dumb to know he's supposed to stop more than 85 percent of the shots he faces pucks lolllllllll!

Get a grip.)