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Patrick Kane goes to Switzerland, brings his mom

When news broke on Tuesday that Patrick Kane had signed to join Tyler Seguin on EHC Biel of Switzerland's A league, the jokes began to fly. Kane and Seguin, two gentlemen known for their aggressively pro-partying stance, were going to do some serious damage together in the neutral nation.

[Also: Islanders moving to Brooklyn in 2015 after signing 25-year lease]

I mean, if Kane nearly ended Wisconsin, he was going to wreck the land of chocolate. And with ladykiller/dirty flow appreciator Seguin in tow, it was only to be a matter of time before Bern became known as Europe's dirty south. These guys were going to tear the roof off the mother.

But, as it turns, it won't actually be like that because, speaking of mothers, Kane is bringing his along. Mothers, there's no need to lock up your daughters, because Patrick Kane's mom will be locking up her son. From Tracey Myers at CSN Chicago:

Kane won't be going to Switzerland alone, as his mom will join him on the trip. Kane's parents, especially his dad, spend a good amount of time in Chicago during the hockey seasons.

"I was going to bring dad but I got a text from (my mother) this morning, 'It's just me and you.' He can't do the nine-hour ride," Kane said. "I'm sure he'll try to watch every game he can. I don't know if she'll be there the whole time, but she'll go over and help me get settled in."

And crotch-block like a mother -- literally, because she's actually his mother.

This is a helpful reminder that, while Kane is a millionaire hockey player, he's also still a young man. While he's mastered the art of going out, he still relies on his mom to help him settle in.

Myers' story also includes a few lines from Jonathan Toews, who isn't quite ready to head to Europe. "I'm not going to be quick to pull a Kane," he said.

What a quote. Well, as long as Kane's mother is in town, neither will the women of Biel.

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