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NHL lockout-inspired Robyn parody absolutely nobody asked to see: ‘Call The Union’ (VIDEO)

Just prior to euthanizing the November portion of the NHL schedule, Gary Bettman offered an explanation for the impasse between the owners and the Players' Association. "You can't dance by yourself," he said, sullenly.

Of course, Billy Idol begs to differ. So does Robyn.

[Also: Don't get fooled again by false CBA hopes; and, 30 NHL team updates]

After pointing out that Robyn has made quite the career of dancing by herself, Sean Gentille of the Sporting News started ad-libbing some hockified lyrics to "Call Your Girlfriend", another Robyn single. I fired back, this went on for some time, and over the course of the afternoon, we inadvertently wrote an entire parody version of the track.

It was called "Call the Union" and it pleaded with the NHL and NHLPA to get something done.

At this point, it had to be recorded.

I hooked up with Vancouver videographer Mark Yuen to make the video, and at some point it was decided that we had to mimic Robyn's original, iconic video as closely as possible, right down to the dancing, and the women's tights she was wearing. This was unfortunate and I don't know how it happened. Anyway. Here is the shameful, shameful result.

Welp, that's the worst thing I've ever done. Note to self: the camera adds 10 pounds, so it was probably foolish to add another 20 right before getting in front of it.

But I make no apologies for the butt shot. None.

Here's the lyrics, so you can follow along with this thing ...

Call the union, it's time you had a talk
Give your reasons, say it's not their fault
But you just want more revenue

Tell 'em not to get upset
Second guessing all the contracts that you signed
And then when they get upset tell 'em
How you never meant pay full price

Then you tell 'em that the only way the lockout ends
Is if they give cash back again
And you won't get rest until
They have none to spend and then you let 'em down easy

Call the Fehr bros, say it's talking time
Make an offer, put it up online
Cause you just want more revenue

Don't you tell 'em how I gave you something
But I gave it to you in bad faith
Don't you even mention escrow
How it's so awesome and cool and great

You just tell 'em that the only way the lockout ends
Is 50/50 there and then
And it won't make sense right now
But you're still a friend and then you let 'em down easy

Call up Bettman, it's time you had the talk
Give your reasons, say it's not his fault
But you just want more revenue
Your pay will not be cut into

And you tell him that the only way the lockout ends
Is when the split's grandfathered in
And it won't make sense right now
But you're still a friend and then you let him down easy

Call the union, it's time you had the talk
Give your reasons, say it's not their fault
But you just want more revenue

Follow Harrison Mooney on Twitter at @HarrisonMooney

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