When Team Canada's Olympic jersey leaked back earlier this month thanks to an unfortunate Getty Images upload, I, like many of you, was disappointed.
But for different reasons. Fact is, I didn't and still don't hate the red jersey, and I wanted to so much. It's way more fun. It wasn't perfect, of course, but it didn't make me want to vomit in terror. The black third jersey, however, absolutely does. Via Reddit Hockey, this is the worst thing I've seen this week, and I watched the Dexter finale:
What. The Hell. Is that.
According to the Redditor that uploaded the photo, these three jerseys just came into his store, so it seems safe to assume -- just as it seemed safe when we saw a dour Jonathan Toews wearing the one on the left -- that these are the official duds Canada will be sporting.
And thus, I am filled with a great shame for our home and native land.
The red one is still the best, and I think even those that hated it from the outset can agree that it looks better when juxtaposed with that monstrosity on the other side of the white one. Holy Lord. I was originally glad that the red jersey had no black. It was great to see the teams getting away from the unnecessary inclusion of black that plagued hockey jerseys in the 90s.
But as it turns out, they were just saving the black for the worst jersey they could possibly make. What is that? It looks like a cigarette carton.
The red logo looks like it was sponsored by Petro-Canada. The black one? Dunhill Fine Cut.
It doesn't even look like a hockey jersey. It looks like long-sleeved t-shirt. This is a jersey the gold medal favourites will be wearing? They look like a budget team. Plus, considering the red and the white one only have the stripe on one sleeve, it seems reasonable to assume the black one will too, which means it's going to look even stupider. And since the stripe is red, also Nazi-esque, which doesn't seem ideal.
Update: In case you thought Canada and Nike Hockey might have had the sense to avoid giving the team just one red armband, this photo shows that no, they did not.
— The Clubhouse (@Clubhousecanada) September 24, 2013
Way to go, everyone.