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KISS is playing Dodger Stadium NHL game because Gene Simmons invented ice

Greg Wyshynski

When NHL COO John Collins told me about the Dodger Stadium ticket sales for the Los Angeles Kings and Anaheim Ducks – or lack thereof – he said this was going to be a big week in terms of marketing the game. Not only would the Winter Classic put the spotlight on outdoor NHL games, but “the musical act” for the game would be revealed as well.

So, Los Angeles fence-sitters: HOW WILL YOU DARE DENY THE PYROTECNIC ALLURE OF KISS?

Yes, the face-painted senior citizens have been revealed as the musical act for the Jan. 25 game, and it’s awesome. You know it’s awesome. You’re going to watch 20 minutes of the Ducks and Kings trying to puck-handle on soft ice, and then you’re going to watch the soft belly of Gene Simmons behind a giant bass as Paul Stanley screeches “Rock and Roll All Night” for the 100,000th time and flames shoot off and everybody parties ev-uh-ree-day.

From the NHL:

"Los Angeles is the premier hub for sports and entertainment in this country and we are honored to be part of an event that fuses both by rocking the first-ever outdoor NHL game in LA," said Gene Simmons. "Fans can expect a spectacle at Dodger Stadium, similar to the one we will be creating at the Honda Center this season with our new Arena Football team, LA KISS."

"Our goal with the NHL Stadium Series games is to give our fans an unforgettable experience," said NHL Executive VP and Chief Marketing Officer Brian Jennings. "Having KISS headline our entertainment lineup is the perfect way to make our celebration of hockey in Southern California even bigger and more memorable."

Gene Simmons is a puckhead, having attended Kings games for years. He also completely blew this surprise on Twitter six days ago, before deleting it.

I love Gene Simmons, by the way, because no man has ever been this shameless in inventing new ways to market his product – see KISS Coffin, KISS condoms and KISS checkers set. The NHL wishes it had an ounce of this man’s hubris; they’d be selling “Winter Classic Snow” in little logo-covered vials if it did.

(Note to NHL: Steal that idea if you’d like.)

So KISS is playing the LA outdoor game, and it’s awesome. We implore the players to consider putting a giant star over one eye, or cat whiskers, with their eye-black. We hope the KISS Army descends on the stadium wearing these. And we hope the pyro generated from the stage completely melts one end of the ice so the Ducks and Kings spend the next 40 minutes trading power plays in the first half-court Winter Classic.