How to be a college hockey player, starring the University of Wisconsin (Video)

Hey you. Yes, we’re talking to you. Do you have dreams of having a sick flow, dangling and sniping your foes, playing killer pranks on your buds and occasionally engaging in sick celes (sic, cellys)?

Then you might just want to become a college hockey player. And the University of Wisconsin men’s team is here to show you how:

Wait, where were the steps involving getting blackout drunk during a Madison bar crawl or punching a cop?

(We kid, we kid … it’s a delightful video. We just wish North Dakota had made one too so we could make a proper lawnmower tossing joke.)