"It is thus I must disguise myself, so as not to cull curiosity that Thor Odinson is on Earth, traveling from kingdom to kingdom in search of mead and miniature Fingers of Butter. What form might I choose to reject — nay, repel — those who'd wish to approach the God of Thunder?
"Ah yes: The form of a rapscallion pest. The Loki of the National Ice Hockey Legion. Brad Marchand of the Bruins of Boston.
"Even my ally the Man of Spider recognizeth me not in this form, despite our both being owned by the Comics of Marvel, which now owneth Willow Ufgood. This memory was captured moments before I delivered a check of the hip to the young hero for his vain attempt to pilfer my Reese's Cup. As the great, Asgardian giant Zdeno, whom we banished to roam the universe due to his tendency to eat infants, might sayeth: 'Puny Human.'
"Now, if you'll excuse me, there's an Earthling wearing the crest of the Canucks of Vancouver o'er yonder, and I must introduce him to Mjolnir …"
(Thanks to reader Maureen O'Brien for informing us that Boston Bruins forward Brad Marchand "was trick or treating here in South Boston last night dressed as Thor, and possibly had dressed his dog as Superman." She believes there are some jokes to be had here, but we don't see what's funny about Marchand's nose possibly replacing the destroyed Bridge to Asgard ... )
- Brad Marchand