Advertisement

Young NFL fan takes Cam Newton to task in elementary school newspaper

In some respects, the Carolina Panthers had a successful 2014 campaign. They won their division, made the playoffs and even won a wild-card weekend game against the Arizona Cardinals before losing to the then-defending Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks. Cleveland Browns fans pray for such a season.

But one elementary school student isn't buying that hype. Not by any stretch of the child's imagination. In a piece penned for a grade-school newspaper and shared by Virginia-based Ph.D. student Jeff Atkins on Twitter, a young NFL observer sums up the Panthers' problems better than most football scribes could.

My favorite football team is the Carolina Panthers. I feel that they need a better quarterback. The quarterback is Cam Newton. The team never seems to win and I think he is the reason. He gets intercepted a lot.

Now I know what you are thinking. What if he does not have the support from his team? What if they are not very good? Maybe ... but, the players on the team are pretty good. I will admit that maybe the team is responsible for some of the losses, but most of the time it is his fault.

There is a spot for him on the team. That is as a running back. That would probably use his talents better. Now that I think about it ... the Panthers were never a very good team. Maybe he is not the only bad player.

Spot on, young man. Newton's quarterback rating of 82.1 ranked 26th in a league with only 32 teams, and his backup Derek Anderson finished 2-0 in his absence this season. Then again, Newton faced an uphill battle against injuries, a subpar receiving corps and a defense that allowed 23.4 points per game.

So, while the Panthers indeed "were never a very good team," this kid probably wasn't too thrilled to hear the Carolina brass is reportedly considering signing Newton to an expensive contract extension.

This little dude's stream-of-consciousness writing style is one we should all consider adopting — beginning with one hot sports take before thinking it through and concluding with an even hotter one.

Like, "Roger Goodell's response to the Ray Rice issue wasn't great. Now that I think about it ... his responses to most issues aren't great. Maybe he is not the best commissioner." Or, "Tim Tebow deserves another NFL chance. Now that I think about it ... He's gotten plenty. Maybe he isn't that good."

But really I'm really just hoping this article was written by the same kid from that "Play 60" commercial.

(h/t Deadspin)