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Texans' QB mess: Benched Ryan Mallett pouts, Brian Hoyer folds late

Houston Texans head coach Bill O'Brien started off his press conference after Thursday's loss to the Indianapolis Colts by saying, "That was not good tonight."

No, no it was not: A 27-20 loss to a road team down to its flu-addled, 40-year-old backup quarterback looking eminently weak mentally and soft physically.

But this is not about tonight. This is about what the Texans must endure for 11 more games — the ping-pong match of Ryan Mallett and Brian Hoyer, a game that almost always is sullied by unforced errors.

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Witness Thursday ... Mallett started in the short week despite playing terribly as a starter prior to Week 5, and guess what? He played terribly Thursday night, too, getting pulled after a big hit that earned the Colts a personal foul, but one it became obvious the more that Mallett sulked on the sideline that he could have played through.

Enter Hoyer, who played fast and played smart. He made quick decisions and touch throws, the kind that Mallett can't even attempt. Mallett has a fastball and a faster ball. Hoyer wins with changeups and offspeed stuff, and the Colts couldn't hit the curve at first.

It was an impressive relief performance as he racked up 312 pass yards on 24 of 31 passing after entering the game down 13-0 with just over six minutes left in the second quarter. (We joked earlier this week that the Texans should have considered starting Mallett, pulling him after one play and bringing in Hoyer — and we were not far from the mark!)

Hoyer hit Jaelen Strong on the end-of-half Hail Mary to cut the lead to 13-10 and then went back to Strong for a second score — his first two NFL receptions, by the way — to give the Texans a chance after the Colts extended the lead to 20-10. But Hoyer, despite his heroics, couldn't get ahead of Matt Hasselbeck on the other side of the ball, and by game's end we were back where we started.

Like Charles Woodson said about Jay Cutler — "eventually we know he will throw us the ball" — the same can be said of Hoyer. Or Mallett, who suffers from Cutler-esque body language. And, for all we know, No. 3 QB Tom Savage.

Hoyer appears to be that rare quarterback who is worse the more time he has to decide what to do with the ball. That was the case on the game-sealing interception with two minutes left. Hoyer looked around, had great protection, panicked ... and gift-wrapped the pass for Colts safety Mike Adams, who already received a pick with a bow on it in the first quarter when Mallett gunned a should-be touch pass off Arian Foster's hands and into those of Adams.

And now O'Brien is facing the same reality tomorrow he had to know when he put on a tremendous face during "Hard Knocks" — he has the worst quarterback situation in the NFL. What does it say that the situations in Washington and Cleveland are more attractive than what Houston can roll out prior to 2016? That has to be sobering.

O'Brien is getting heat in Houston, but where is the video of GM Rick Smith walking on water I have yet to see? This is a roster that is blessed with some very high-end talent with J.J. Watt, Duane Brown, Jadeveon Clowney and maybe a few other players, but the dropoff to the middle class is steep. And again: Where are the quarterbacks? Neither Mallett, who could be seen detached from his teammates on the sideline and working on his resting bitch face when Strong scored his second TD, nor Hoyer offer any hope. Savage? Please.

It's an awful problem to have, and the Texans might be just good enough to not be the NFL's worst team, which could eliminate them from landing the quarterback of their dreams in the draft.

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Eric Edholm is a writer for Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at edholm@yahoo-inc.com or follow him on Twitter!