Thursday was all about hot NBA trade deadline takes. Strong opinions, off-the-cuff reactions and instant analysis of deals made right up to 3 p.m. ET deadline, preferably delivered across multiple platforms and through social media channels. Very Twitter, very Pinterest, very Weibo. You get it.
Unfortunately, everyone who worked very hard to offer the best, hottest takes on the NBA trade deadline lost, because this 7-year-old girl reacting to NBA trade news delivered by an off-camera woman won. (I don't want to presume that it is her mom; perhaps it is her aunt, or her co-executive producer.) I just wish that winning made her feel better.
Things start off swell enough with a bit of misdirection. Upon hearing that the Los Angeles Lakers have made a trade, the girl prepares for epic sadness ... and then she hears that Luke Walton is on the way out in the Ramon Sessions deal, which makes her very happy. That's not very nice to Luke, but it's classic comedy — build tension, then release with the punchline. (Sharp timing by the kid, too.)
Like many Laker fans, she gets bummed about seeing Derek Fisher moved to the Houston Rockets, but hearing that Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum will be staying in forum blue and gold cheers her up pretty quickly.
And then, when it's time to talk about the Portland Trail Blazers ... things get heavy.
"And the Blazers also traded some players," our off-screen voice says.
"Who did they trade?" our analyst asks.
"You ready for this?" A grim, slow nod. And then: "Gerald Wallace."
At first, this is not welcome news. And then, after that unpredictable yet inevitable moment when the goof gets real, it becomes very not welcome. Like "I guess we're not going to Disney World after all" not welcome. That's when it's time to break out the presents and cut the iPhone camera.
Poor kid. She just really loves hardworking, versatile, borderline reckless swingmen with great hair who might have juuuust hit the other side of their prime. I think we've all been there; I know I have.
Hang in there, young'n. Rebuilding's for the best. One day, it'll all make sense.
Video via trentcombs1.