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Shaq, Scottie Pippen engage in Instagram zingfest
Just about every summer, when the draft's done, free agency's all but over and Summer League's wrapped up, basketball folks seem to try to kill some time by engaging in theoretical debates about whether Team Or Player A could beat Team Or Player B. The chats never really go anywhere, but they can be great fun — I'm reminded of the relentless back-and-forth over who would win in a game between the 1992 Dream Team and the 2012 version of Team USA, and the annual kerfuffle surrounding the prospects of one-on-one games between and among Michael Jordan, LeBron James and Kobe Bryant — and they help while away the hours until balls start bouncing again.
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Our latest installment in just such an empty-calories exercise comes courtesy of one current Hall of Famer and one future enshrinee, beginning Monday when Shaquille O'Neal decided to put some bees in folks' bonnets by claiming that a team made up of all-time Los Angeles Lakers greats (himself, Kobe, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Elgin Baylor and Magic Johnson) would beat a team of all-time Chicago Bulls greats (Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Derrick Rose, Horace Grant and Dennis Rodman) "by fifty."
Pippen, who's proven quite willing to make brash statements this summer, responded by — you guessed it! — counting the ringzzzz:
"Sorry @shaq but I don't get caught up in hypotheticals," Pippen wrote in his caption. "All I know is we won 6 titles, twice the amount you claimed while in LA."
Shaq responded by questioning the "we" in that statement, with the help of some real top-notch Photoshop work:
This is where things get a little less than friendly, as Shaq followed his deployment of the sarcastic hashtag #youwereok with claims that Steve Kerr and Ron Harper deserved more credit for the Bulls' titles than Pippen did.
"remember I WAS BATMAN YOU WAS ROBIN , I was PUFFY YOU WAS MASE," Shaq wrote.
([sic]s all around, obviously.)
Shortly thereafter, Shaq came with more bad memes and Photoshops, complete with a reference to a barrel-aged mobile device:
"Anybody need a T MOBILE SIDEKICK," Shaq asked. "I GOTTa PRETTY GOOD ONE #BESTSIDEKICKEVER"
Evidently, Pip didn't much appreciate the backhanded compliment of being called the best sidekick ever, invoking both Shaq's bricklaying past and his own career-long partnerships with elite players:
"Easy big fella," Pippen wrote. "If only you were as good at free throws as you are talking smack!"
"Speaking of being a sidekick... if I recall correctly you know a thing or two about that as well," Pippen joked.
Noted comedian O'Neal responded with a pair of real winners involving references to "he's a bum.com" and Pippen being a woman — which, y'know, LOL! — before hitting Scottie where it hurts: going to the videotape of the 2000 Western Conference Finals.
"See what happens @scottiepippen when Michael Jordan ain't protecting you," Shaq wrote. "You lose a 17 pt lead in the fourth quarter. And this happens."
It was a 16-point lead, but hey, close counts in horseshoes and social-media hand grenades.
Whatever your point of view on which players should appear on all-time Bulls and Lakers squads — former Bulls scout and current New York Knicks front-office man Clarence Gaines Jr. offered his surprising thoughts on the Chicago side of things, and I think you can make a pretty good case for taking Jerry West over Shaq if you've already got Kareem in the middle — or which side would win a theoretical game, or which zings landed hardest and hurt most, I think we can all agree on one thing:
It must be nice to be retired, exceedingly rich and able to spend your free time insulting one another.
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Dan Devine is an editor for Ball Don't Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at devine@yahoo-inc.com or follow him on Twitter!
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