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Kareem Abdul-Jabbar kicks off the new fall TV season by ‘dunking’ a baby (VIDEO)

In one of the universe's fairest temporal deals, we are typically given about two months between the start of the new fall television season and the beginning of the new NBA regular season to decide which new TV shows we'll make sure to make time for once we get back to 12-game evening slates that don't end until Kobe Bryant takes a contested fadeaway jumper with the clock reading triple-zero on the West Coast. One new NBC offering vying for our eyeballs, "Guys with Kids," premiered Wednesday night with a series opener that aimed to ensnare male and female viewers alike by mining the rich comedic vein that is three chill bros (played James Swimfan, Teddy from "Hang Time" and the dude from The Whitest Kids U Know) being entrusted with caring for babies. They were aided in their endeavor by NBA legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, whom they really want to slam-dunk their babies, albeit oddly in a setting that does not appear to be a Buffalo Wild Wings.

The also-dude-focused site Guyism conducted video surveillance on the debut and released their findings on Thursday:

In case you missed the initial airing and somehow forgot to DVR it, I'll let the all-seeing Huffington Post catch you up on the plot:

When Chris' [ED. NOTE: played by Swimfan] ex-wife Sheila [Erinn Hayes] refused to allow him to get a babysitter so he could go out on a date, she further said she couldn't do it because she had a date herself ... with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. In the moment, she certainly seemed like she was lying.

Sheila is the controlling and manipulative character in the cast, but after an episode of her pushing Chris around, he finally stood up to her. She was totally against the idea of Abdul-Jabbar "dunking" her baby, but Chris convinced him to do it, and then told his ex-wife to learn to trust him with their baby.

Well, all of that certainly sounds reasonable, healthy and relatable. Glad to hear that Chris stood up to Sheila. Controlling and manipulative ex-wives who won't let giants palm their children, amirite? (NOTE: Please be advised that this is a rhetorical question and please do not answer it thank you very much for your attention in this matter.)

I'm also glad that Chris' gambit for convincing Sheila to trust him with their baby was to ask her date to dunk the child rather than perform his patented sky-hook, although there is, I suppose, an argument to be made that a scene including a thrown baby would be a pretty edgy way for NBC to kick off its fall slate. (I, personally, am anti-thrown-baby.)

Three other notes:

1. While Kareem acquitted himself admirably, this appearance still ranks a distant second in the competition for Funniest Things Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Has Done on Television This Year;

2. This is less a dunk, really, than a "presenting Simba"-type situation, which now has me wondering how Kareem would do in a brief run as Rafiki in the Broadway presentation of "The Lion King" (my suspicion: pretty great!);

3. This should be the basis for Kareem's statue:

Or, failing that, at least a handsome Trollface bust that would make a fine addition to any Internet person's desk. Let's get on it, sculptors.

Hat-tip to Mayor Burnsy at With Leather.