Ranking the sexiest GMs in baseball 1-30

David Brown
Big League Stew

The comments that new Oakland Athletics shortstop Hiroyuki Nakajima made about GM Billy Beane, that he "is extremely sexy and cool," got me thinking. When it comes to sex appeal, Beane gets a lot of the attention among the general managers in Major League Baseball, not only because Brad Pitt played him in a movie, but also because Nakajima — even if he was joking — was on to something.

Therefore, without further ado (and ignoring any of the a-don't), The Stew has ranked all 30 major-league GMs based on how sexy they are. Begin the slideshow!

1. Kevin Towers, Arizona Diamondbacks

And we have an upset already! If they ever make a movie about Kevin Towers, then Russell Crowe would be a good place to start as far as casting, though Hollywood makeup artists would find it hard to equal Towers' remarkably consistent golf course tan. He's handsome, but seemingly approachable — he'll have a beer with you. And, if fanboys are fighting over you on Wikipedia, you have innate sex appeal.

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2. Billy Beane, Oakland Athletics

He can't help it if he's been overhyped! The combination of All-American looks, an engaging personality and SABR-wonkiness is practically unbeatable. A year ago, who knows? Beane's probably still No. 1. But we're post-"Moneyball" now. Work on a sequel, kid. You can still be No. 1 again. Keep at it.

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3. Dayton Moore, Kansas City Royals

Damn. And he can build a farm system!

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4. Brian Cashman, New York Yankees

This'll spark some arguments. But you don't have to be tall or classically handsome to be sexy, though deep blue eyes never hurt. Cashman confidently works for the most famous sports team in the world and he rappels tall buildings dressed as one of Santa's helpers. It's easy to see why someone would stalk him.

Hey ... those legs are ... athletic.

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5. Jed Hoyer, Chicago Cubs

Great Caesar's Ghost, it's Channing Tatum!

Hoyer could surpass the sexiness of even Tatum if Cubs ever win a World Series under Hoyer's watch.

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6. Dave Dombrowski, Detroit Tigers

The most dominant cleft chin in sports. And his salt and pepper hair even inspires that of Dayton Moore.

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7. Ben Cherington, Boston Red Sox

He pierces other GMs' trade proposals with a nonpareil icy glare.

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8. Neal Huntington, Pittsburgh Pirates

Dan O'Dowd wishes he could combine his most-Irish name with Irish good looks like this. Unlike the Bucs, Huntington can't help but finish way over .500 every season.

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9. Chris Antonetti, Cleveland Indians

If Matthew Fox of "Lost" and Justin Long of Apple commercials had a sexy baby. The most formidable cheekbones in the AL Central.

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10. Sandy Alderson, New York Mets

Aging well, like the finest wines. Clean-cut, funny and willing to be photographed with ostentatious team pillows. Semper Fi.

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11. Josh Byrnes, San Diego Padres

Could be Huntington's brother. And you're not so bad yourself, fuzzy guy on the right (Harry Ralston "Bud" Black).

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12. Frank Wren, Atlanta Braves

Hey, there, dimples! Wren could move higher on the list, were he to tan or darken his hair to contrast his skin. Are we getting a little too deep into this?

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13. Mike Rizzo, Washington Nationals

He's not everyone's type (we're definitely wading into that part of the list), but Rizzo is a former ballplayer, and uses what he has to make it work. The eyebrows are key.

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14. Jon Daniels, Texas Rangers

Handsome and clean-cut, but still a little too boyish to rank any higher. Maybe if he swallowed some tobacco. Needs some Texas grizzle.

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15. Michael Hill, Miami Florida Marlins

He's a real person! The most anonymous GM in the league goes right in the middle of the list because I don't know what to do with him. Being a little bit unknown is quite sexy, but completely unknown is just hard to figure. It's like Merle from "Godfather Part 2." Yeah, he was handsome, played by Troy Donohue. But what else is there? I don't know this Michael Hill; I don't know what he does, I don't know what he lives on. Now why don't you tell him that being any higher on the list is out of the question?

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16. John Mozeliak, St. Louis Cardinals

This is about as sexy of a photo of John Mozeliak as can be taken. Pretty suave, with the suit, the luggage in tow and the aloof look. Elegant bookworm. But then, check out THIS photo, and you realize why he's harder to place in the overall:

This is just not first-division sexy. Sorry, Mo.

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17. Ruben Amaro, Philadelphia Phillies

Haters call it smugness. But it's really confidence, and being confident is a component to being sexy. And yet, there can be too sexy.

18. Andrew Friedman, Tampa Bay Rays

A conundrum. Isn't sexy, but could be if he wanted (which is sexy, in and of itself). I think it's because he just sits back and lets Joe Maddon be the face of the organization. Maddon is sexy enough for everyone. Longoria, too.

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19. Rick Hahn, Chicago White Sox

Hey, check out the new guy! The Sox definitely lose something with Ken Williams getting kicked upstairs, but Hahn photographs well. He'll probably never escape the middle of the pack, though.

20. Jack Zduriencik, Seattle Mariners

He looks a little like old Mayor Richard Daley of Chicago here. Look closer, though. Soft eyelashes.

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21. Terry Ryan, Minnesota Twins

This is a great picture of him, and he's got a Jean-Luc Picard thing going on, but he's your grampa. And unless your grampa was Charlton Heston or Jack Palance or Paul Newman, he probably wasn't sexy. Possibly the nicest man in the league, though.

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22. Walt Jocketty, Cincinnati Reds

Has to be ranked near Ryan, out of fairness and consistency with the older set. Sexiness also diminished by funny name.

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23. Jeffrey Luhnow, Houston Astros

I'm very excited about him taking over the Astros, but he doesn't generate much in the way of sexy. However, his Hugh Grant eyes keep him ahead of others.

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24. Jerry Dipoto, Los Angeles Angels

I dunno what's going on here. This guy can do better. He was a major-league ballplayer, for crying out loud.

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25. Doug Melvin, Milwaukee Brewers

Strapping, but his best asset is his Sam Elliott mustache. Man cannot be sexy by hair of the lip alone.

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26. Dan O'Dowd, Colorado Rockies

Handsome enough, and reportedly a swell guy, but there's just very little that's sexy about the Rockies right now. He's no Neal Huntington, did I mention?

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27. Brian Sabean, San Francisco Giants

He gets enough trophies for other stuff. Part of a San Francisco's white-haired cognoscenti, which includes broadcaster Mike Krukow and former owner Bill Neukom.

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28. Alex Anthopoulos, Toronto Blue Jays

Lovable, like your kid brother who grew up to run a ball club. He's got a Peter Falk thing going on, the problem of which is, only Peter Falk could pull it off. I mean, for real:

Being Greek should help!

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29. Dan Duquette, Baltimore Orioles

What's going on, Dan Aykroyd?!

Then again, Aykroyd has been married to Donna Dixon forever...

30. Ned Colletti, Los Angeles Dodgers

Pure. Hollywood. Lust.

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