But she breaks just like a little girl. — Bob Dylan
The knuckleball can be a cruel mistress. Not a MISTER, but a mistress. Yes, that's right. New York Mets ace R.A. Dickey revealed Sunday night that his go-to pitch is, in fact, female.
"I was going to live and die with my girl. She's been nice so far. It happens. As controllable as the knuckleball has been for me, it's still a very violent, very fickle pitch. And she did not cooperate."
Unpredictable. Uncooperative. Uncontrollable. Evasive. Elusive. Erratic. Behold the knuckleball, in all of its fluttering femininity!
And feminism obviously is more powerful than Dickey has given it credit for.
Dickey came into a showdown against the Bronx Bombers having thrown consecutive one-hit shutouts, and hadn't allowed an earned run in nearly 43 innings. He's been on a roll like no other knuckleballer in history. It's not just a lucky streak, opponents have said, but a real difference in Dickey's knuckleball. It isn't like the one Tim Wakefield, Tom Candiotti or the Niekro boys threw. It's faster, which apparently makes it easier to control and harder to hit. Well, it isn't an "it" at all, but instead a "she."
It's funny: By its name only, a curve sounds much more feminine than a knuckle-dragging knuckleball. Anyway, the revelation about the gender of Dickey's pitch came when there was some confusion surrounding the gender of the Mets' other mascot — the chicken called "Little Jerry Seinfeld."
Heading into the Subway Series, Mets reliever Frank Francisco called the Yankees a collection of "chickens" because, he said, they complain too much. Now, there probably was something lost in the translation, but that didn't stop the chicken meme from taking over the entire weekend — mostly because Mets reliever Tim Byrdak went out and bought a chicken. He named it after a bird that appeared on "Seinfield," which happened to star Mets fan Jerry Seinfeld.
Dickey might be cock of the walk among major-league pitchers this season, but Little Jerry was the toast of Citi Field over the weekend. Not creamed chicken on toast, though; its life will be spared.
But which sex was the chicken? Male or female? Aren't roosters the males and chickens the females, some will always wonder? No, hens are female. Chicken is to human as rooster and hen are to man and woman, respectively. But is Little Jerry a boy or a girl? Byrdak referred to it as a "he" but was that a chauvinistic assumption or from the empirical evidence? Can you tell from the talons? Did the chicken have large talons? Is that a way you can tell? Maybe someone can ask Dickey.
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