When Ryan Howard signed his huge five-year, $125 million contract extension, a lot of people defended its size by saying he'd sell lots of tickets.
But I'm guessing this is not what they had in mind.
So have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this caption read?
Follow the jump below for winners from our last C-a-C (which also featured Ryan Howard):
1st — AndrewScott48. "Alright Ryan, take a breather. We have wheelchair baserunning next."
2nd — Nate. "He was later suspended 50 games for use of a performance enhancing ottoman."
3rd — Vaffanculo. "After the urine test, Ryan was asked to give a stool sample."
HM — Robert. "Ohhhh my bad! I thought you said you needed a pinch sitter ..."