The personal invasion of their space is, no doubt, deeply unsettling to Carlton Fisk and his wife. And though he likely has plenty of wealth to spare, the substantial loss of personal property is irritating as well.
But setting aside the rotten consequences of the crime, the story (as we know it) of the burglary of Fisk's Manatee County, Fla. residence is darned peculiar.
Reported on Friday by the Sarasota (Fla.) Herald-Tribune to be stolen: Thousands of dollars in collectible silver coins — and nothing else — from a home valued at nearly $862,000. Silver coins? A little odd to be stolen. Also a little odd to collect, though it depends. Are we talking, like, old buffalo nickels and such? Or, as Deadspin wonders, something sold by the Franklin Mint that might have the cast of the Wizard of Oz on it for all we know?
What in the name of Silas Marner is happening? Here are some other strange details of the Fisk break-in:
• The Fisks had not been home in about a week, but a pest control representative had come by and noticed a back door had been taken off its hinges. Can that be done from the outside? And no alarm system, I guess?
• Exterminator Mike McClain also noticed it looked like the criminals "had been helping themselves to the home and facilities." Sampling the food in Pudge's fridge. Ordering movies on demand (please, no porn) from his satellite. Wearing his chest protector from Tom Seaver's 300th win!
• The newspaper also reported the Orkin Man as saying — and I'm not making this up — "the break-in looked like it might have been squatters." Squatters. Carlton Fisk. Catcher. A squatter behind home plate for all those years with the Boston Red Sox and Chicago White Sox. But wait, that history was of no help to McClain, because ...
• Exterminator Mike said "he knew Fisk, but did not know he was a Hall of Fame catcher." Does that mean he knew him as a pretty good catcher, or that he had no idea if Fisk's former profession? Well, discovering the break-in gets you off the hook in either case, McClain. I know, not everyone's going to recognize a famous baseball player, especially one who hasn't played in 20 years. But the name? "Carlton Fisk"? Doesn't it ring a bell? Don't you Yahoo! Google it once and see? Maybe McClain's never heard of the Internet, either.
• The Sheriff's Office of Manatee County says because the coins were the only items stolen, it's possible that the Fisks weren't random targets, but instead that thieves targeted them just for the collection.
What kind of place is it, where thieves know about some random coin collection belonging to probably the town's most famous part-time resident (unless you're the exterminator) but ignore every other treasure? You'd say it was doomsday preppers, grabbing silver in order to melt it down and then trade it for food after the Mayan apocalypse, but then why didn't they steal any other precious metals? Amateurs.
Regardless. Stealing on Pudge Fisk. They wouldn't dare if this were still 1985. But now that he's about to turn 65 years old, well...