Sunday Scene, Week 1: Cordarrelle Patterson is a purple terror

Cordarrelle Patterson caught only three balls for 26 yards against the Rams on Sunday, which seems like a relatively quiet day for an early-round receiver.

Under normal circumstances, with a normal player, maybe you'd be doubting the genius of that pick.

But Cordarrelle is clearly something beyond normal. He augmented his modest receiving performance with 102 rushing yards — one-zero-two. He outgained Adrian Peterson by 27 yards on 18 fewer carries. Patterson's 67-yard third quarter rushing score was filthy, loaded with broken tackles and beaten Rams. Cordarrelle dragged E.J. Gaines over the goal-line at the end, basically wearing the corner like an accessory.

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We're now 17 games into Patterson's NFL career, and he's up to 10 touchdowns — four receiving, four rushing, two in the return game. In each of his last three games, dating back to last December, the man has a rushing score of at least 35 yards.

I'll remind you again: Officially, Patterson is not a running back. The rushing thing is really just a side project.

I have no idea if this odd path to elite fantasy production is sustainable, but I trust Norv Turner to continue to feed a uniquely talented player. You might recall that Norv's first order of business in Minnesota was to install 10 new plays for Patterson. The Vikings didn't need to break 'em all out on Sunday, what with St. Louis offering little resistance.

• OK, so maybe shedding a few pounds in the offseason was, in fact, a smart move by Le'Veon Bell. Not only did Bell look quick and sudden and elusive in Week 1, finishing with 197 scrimmage yards, but he also handled a grown-man workload (21 carries, six receptions). Le'Veon didn't exactly specialize in explosive plays last season — 3.5 YPC, only four carries of 20-plus yards — but he was a monster in Pittsburgh's opener. LeGarrette Blount poached an early touchdown (and ran like a bulldozer on the score), but Bell dominated the backfield work. Lightning-fast rookie Dri Archer was dinged, playing only a cameo role.

Cleveland's backfield had a big day collectively (183 rushing yards), but the production was divided between three players. Ben Tate checked out with a knee injury of as-yet-unknown severity, leaving the rushing load to a pair of rookies. Terrance West carried 16 times for an even 100 yards, while Isaiah Crowell finished with five carries for 32 yards and two TDs. West is a guy you should know fairly well by now; Crowell is a former five-star recruit who went undrafted out of Alabama State, because he had red flags attached. Both players belong on your pickup radar, while we wait for updates on Tate.

• Often, the buzziest preseason sleepers become the biggest regular season duds. But it appears that will not be the case with New Orleans rookie Brandin Cooks. If his opening week usage is any indication (eight touches, 95 yards), the Cooks ownership experience is going to be a blast. We discussed the Saints-Falcons tilt earlier in the day, but shouldn't have made the rookie a mere footnote. His debut was stellar.

• The Dolphins gained 360 total yards against New England on Sunday, including 191 on the ground, in a 13-point win. Can't say I saw that comin'. Lamar Miller took the early backfield work for Miami and finished with 78 yards and a score. But he also put the ball on the ground, which led to more Knowshon Moreno than anyone expected — and Knowshon was unexpectedly great. Moreno carried 24 times for 134 and one touchdown. Presumably, he's now ahead of Miller in the hierarchy. Adjust your plans accordingly.

Rob Gronkowski, we should note, found the end zone in his return from knee reconstruction, hauling in four balls for 40 yards on 11 targets. His touchdown was the only passing score of Tom Brady's day. Brandon LaFell caught nothin' on six targets, which was probably close to what you expected.

• All of last year's critical defensive problems were on display for the Bears in their disastrous season-opening loss to Buffalo. Chicago allowed 193 rushing yards to the Bills, a total that would have fit perfectly into the 2013 game log. Fred Jackson stiff-armed Chris Conte into oblivion on an overtime run that set up Buffalo for a chip-shot field goal.

Here's my guy Herb, summing up the Bears loss succinctly, leaving little need for additional analysis:

Yup, to the Bills. Right here. [Expletive].

Jay Cutler might be the only NFL quarterback who would — in the midst of an otherwise very good game — attempt a throw as tragic and doomed as his miserable fourth quarter pick. Cutler made a soft, back-footed throw across his body, into the chest of a D-lineman. Brutal. Way too easy an INT, way too awful. And it was coming out of a timeout, too. Awful.

Also, Alshon Jeffery checked out with a hamstring malfunction. NOT A GOOD DAY OVER HERE.

We shall speak no more of Bears.

•

So I'm not sure if it's more accurate to say that Houston's defense is legit, or that Washington's offense is illegit. Perhaps it's a bit of both. The Texans held Washington to just six points, as J.J. Watt and Brooks Reed harassed and pummeled RG3 without mercy. Jadeveon Clowney suffered an MCL/meniscus injury, but Houston's defense remained plenty impressive. DeAndre Hopkins caught a 76-yard touchdown pass from Ryan Fitzpatrick, making a nasty move along the way, and Arian Foster delivered 120 scrimmage yards on 29 touches. When Foster is upright and healthy-ish, he cannot be benched.

• I won't pretend to know exactly what the winning formula is for Kansas City, but it can't possibly involve Donnie Avery seeing more opportunities (13 targets) than Jamaal Charles (11 touches). The Chiefs were a mess, obviously, as Alex Smith threw three picks and Avery finished with more than a third of the team's total yards (84 of 245). Within the context of KC's terrible day, buzzy tight end Travis Kelce was alright (3-49-0). But Anthony Fasano accounted for the team's lone TD.

• The combo of Mike Nugent (five FGs) and A.J. Green (131 yards) proved to be too much for the Ravens to overcome, in a game that we should all wipe from memory. Joe Flacco put the ball in the air 62 times, which seems inadvisable. Steve Smith had a drop-filled game that also included an 80-yard TD reception. Bernard Pierce fumbled in a face-plant game, ceding touches to Justin Forsett (84 yards, TD).

• It was a rough afternoon for St. Louis, all things considered, but note the stat line we received from Brian Quick: seven catches on nine targets, 99 yards. Burdened with a lousy quarterback situation, Quick still produced. Definitely a good sign. He's been the subject of offseason propaganda every year of his career, but it obviously hasn't yet translated into September-December production.

• If you're a big fan of premature celebrating, Chris Ivory's 71-yard TD run was the play of the day, without question. Ivory gave us a sky-point at the 39-yard line ...

... before realizing that he is not actually a fast man. He soon lowered the hand, covered up, and managed to carry a defender over the goal-line as he was being caught from behind. But Ivory was thisclose to infamy. Chris Johnson also broke the plan for the Jets, finishing with 91 total yards.

Derek Carr didn't play the cleanest game in his regular season debut (151 yards on 32 attempts), but he managed to connect with Rod Streater and James Jones for scores. Streater led the Raiders in scrimmage yards ... with 46. Yikes.

• Bucs running back Doug Martin suffered a left leg/knee injury on Sunday, in an ugly afternoon against an excellent Carolina defense. Bobby Rainey found the end-zone after Martin's exit. He's the add, if you need another piece of Tampa's running game.

As for the Panthers, rookie wideout Kelvin Benjamin definitely passed the eye test (in a game where few offensive players did.) Benjamin caught six passes on eight targets for 92 yards, with a highlight TD included. The kid is 6-foot-5 and plenty talented, plus his preseason was promising. He's not just a beneficiary of Derek Anderson's greatness, if that's what you're thinking.

• Tony Romo was jarringly bad at home against the Niners, tossing three early picks, burying the Cowboys in the first half. His decision-making was, um ... flawed. Not good. Romo's yardage total was tolerable when all the stats were in (281), but his actual performance was disastrous. This was not one of those defense-is-terrible-but-we-blame-Romo days. On Sunday, Tony was largely the problem.

EARLY ADDS FOR WEEK 2

QB Jake Locker, Ten (vs. Dal)
QB Ryan Tannehill, Mia (at Buf)
RB Chris Ivory, NYJ (at GB)
RB Terrance West, Cle (vs. NO)
RB Isaiah Crowell, Cle (vs. NO)
RB Ahmad Bradshaw, Ind (vs. Phi)
RB James Starks, GB (vs. NYJ)
RB Justin Forsett, Bal (vs. Pit)
RB Bobby Rainey, TB (vs. STL)
WR Brian Quick, STL (at TB)
WR Allen Hurns, Jac (at Was), discussed here
WR Rod Streater, Oak (vs. Hou)