Olympic golf tip: Play away from the hungry caiman on 10

RIO DE JANEIRO -- A few steps into the Olympic Golf Course and it feels … weird.

K.J. Choi walked by on a soggy Wednesday, the rest of his South Korean teammates following in a line like ducklings following their mom.

At a medal ceremony by the 18th green, a green-shirted volunteer was introduced as Thomas Bach.

Four days of practice rounds have featured rain, sun, shifting winds, and a haboob blowing through and sending everyone diving behind their golf bags for cover. Golf’s an event that’s been absent from the Olympic program for 112 years, and is back over a brand-new course of some controversy built inside the Marapendi Nature Reserve -- no one’s quite sure about how it will play or who it will favour, but everyone's passing around one locker-room tip: avoid the hungry caiman on 10.

And then there’s Graham DeLaet’s beard. It’s gone! And we all thought Rory McIlroy and Phil Mickelson were the most conspicuous no-shows.

Shorn of one of the most glorious hipster beards in pro golf -- hell, the only hipster beard in pro golf -- DeLaet arrives here fresh-faced and with fellow Canadian David Hearn comprise the defending champions, thanks to George Lyon’s gold medal in 1904 in St. Louis.

That ancient history earned DeLaet a spot in the first group alongside Adilson da Silva of host Brazil and South Korean An Byeonghun, the 2009 U.S. Amateur winner and son of two Olympic medalists in table tennis. It also means a 4:30 a.m. wakeup call, and a 5:15 a.m. bus to the course, and frankly given the vagaries of Rio Olympic transport the weirdness will continue if he makes it there with time enough to get in a few practice putts.

Hey, it’s the Olympics. Since arriving last Friday and marching almost straight into the opening ceremonies among Team Canada, DeLaet and Hearn have been soaking it up but good - eat your heart out, Rory.

“So cool,” DeLaet said of the Maracana last Friday. “There was about 100 Canadians and we started singing O Canada at the top of our lungs in the tunnel right before we entered the stadium. I got it all on cellphone. Little things like that -- if I wasn’t here I wouldn’t have experienced it. What a proud moment.”

Hearn hasn’t seen much of the flora and fauna yet, but he figures he will.

Built on a nature reserve - hence some of the controversy - there are critters around. Hearn heard some owls. And although he didn’t see it himself, he’s kind of intrigued by the story some fellow competitors brought back about seeing a caiman emerge from the native grass to devour a capybara.

“I haven’t seen that caiman on 10 yet. I guess I better do a better job of looking around,” said Hearn.

[Related: Tears of the Rio 2016 Games]

One more bit of weird: Any ties for the top three spots after the field of 60 finishes 72 stroke-play holes on Sunday (weather permitting - it’s turned cool and wet here) will be decided by a playoff. According to the International Golf Federation, there’s a 70 per cent chance that’s going to happen. Imagine a five-man playoff for silver, turning into a four-man playoff for bronze. Or a four-way playoff for gold that turns into a two-way playoff for … you get the idea.

But seriously. Why the fresh face, Graham?

“I have two nine-month-old twins and they were tugging on it a lot. I couldn’t really get close and snuggle with them and obviously I want to be able to do that with my children. It feels good. It feels like a little piece of me is missing but it’s all good.”

Imagine. A dad wanting to snuggle with his new twins. That might be the only normal thing about this whole story.

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