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Eh Game

London 2012: What to watch, Monday, July 30th

Don Landry
Eh Game

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John Orozco will try to help the U.S. win gymnastics gold. (Reuters)

These are The Games Of The XXX Olympiad. Monday is July XXX. Triple X-rated in double fashion.

So, let's be sure and be as provocative as we can, okay Olympians? Give the viewers at home a little something-something to talk about. Don't be shy, and don't be reserving all the really good stuff for the athletes' village, the way ESPN says you do.

[Related: Canadian gymnasts make history]

With all those x's in mind, what is most likely to make you exclaim "oh"?

If you're looking to get your eyeballs on Paraguay's Leryn Franco, the javelin thrower who has no chance of a medal unless she skewers about 40 competitors who are rated higher, can't help you today. The woman that was the most internet searched female athlete of the Olympic Games in Beijing (Michael Phelps was the top male) and is being called the sexiest athlete in London, won't hit the competition trail until "Day August 7th."

Maybe take a look at the equestrian events. No, no, no, I'm not suggesting horses are sexy. But British paper The Guardian, in previewing the cross country event, called New Zealand's Andrew Nicholson "highly fancied." That could mean a number of things. That he's attractive, that he's favoured to do well, or that his horse is exceptionally tall and Nicholson sits atop in a spectacular Lady Ga Ga kind of wardrobe. Equestrian coverage goes at 7:30 am ET, on OLN. Canada's horsey set stands sixth after the first portion of this team competition, dressage. Or, as Stephen Colbert calls it: "Competitive horse prancing."

[More: Gold medal for Canadian broadcasters]

What's likely to be most sexy on this day? Depends on your definition of sexy. Most of these athletes, one would assume, are in tip top shape, with a just a few exceptions, perhaps. So, if you're looking to see the most skin on "Day July XXX," just hang around the pool.

Lots more swimming and diving to be covered, so you'll get lots of half naked studs and studettes, with the added bonus of them being wet. If CTV would add a little soft focus and the odd slow motion hair whip, we'd be that much closer to a Rod Smith voiceover warning that "viewer discretion is advised." Highlight: British diver Tom Daley, a home country star with great pressure on him, will compete with his partner, Peter Waterfield, in the 10m synchro event. Can they beat the planet's dominant diving nation, the seemingly unbeatable China? Daley, by the way is just 18, yet is competing in his second Olympic Games. Men's diving, synchro event, 10am ET, on CTV.

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Olympic dressage: Is this not sexy? (Reuters)

Canada's Milos Raonic gets his first taste of Olympic tennis action, weather permitting. His first round match against Tatsuma Ito of Japan was postponed due to Sunday rains. When and if this happens on Monday, is guesswork, again because of the notoriously fussy British weather.

[Also: Canada's future Olympic star]

The men's artistic gymnastics team competition will be decided, without Canada taking part. There is just one Canadian man who qualified for the Olympics, Calgary's Nathan Gafuik, and one man does not a team make. Even if you are a good ol' Canadian. The Americans have been bragging about gold for weeks and they did finish first in qualifying. However, the standings don't carry over and the Chinese, defending Olympic champs, have a little something to prove after finishing 6th in qualifying. These guys are good, but I have a complaint: Doesn't anybody perform a good old-fashioned round off any more? Now, those were sexy. 11:30am ET, CTV.

The women's preliminary basketball round continues, with Canada taking on Great Britain. Canada looks for a bounce back performance, after nearly pulling the big upset in their first game, a 58-53 loss to the 3rd ranked Russians. Ranked 11th by FIBA, Canada should be good to go here, as The Brits are ranked 49th in the world. It's on Sportsnet, 3pm ET.

Like to see the entire broadcast consortium schedule? Click here.

More London Olympics content from Yahoo! Canada Sports:
Emilie Heymans embraces change yet again
Controversy over half-empty Olympic venues
Video: Medals boost morale for Canadian athletes

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