Mon Mar 08 01:42pm EST
On Saturday, the International Football Association Board ruled that technology is scary and game-dampening mistakes are fun by voting against a trial for goal line and replay systems that could help correct human errors within the game.
FIFA general secretary Jerome Valcke (pictured above, thinking about horsies) made status quo humping statements like "it's the end of the potential use of technology within football" and "let's keep the game of football as it is," ignoring the calls for the implementation of new technology by everyone from fans to the head of the Italian federation to "Handsy" Thierry Henry to outvoted FA chief Ian Watmore.
Former World Cup referee Graham Poll, who knows a thing or two (or three) about human error, summed up the decision best:
"I'm not surprised. It's probably because of their level of arrogance. They probably feel we have the No 1 game in the world.
"To them, using cameras would be the same as experimenting with sin bins. They say, 'Oh no we can't do that, because it's a rugby idea.'
"We have to be different because we're football.[...]
"It is clear now the technology which has been tested in Premier League grounds and training grounds to the satisfaction of the League is available and would help officials.
"FIFA are burying their heads in the sand. I do think they feel this is Pandora's Box - once you bring in new technology, you won't be able to stop it. There'll be action replays and it'll spoil the game we all love.
"I can understand that concern. But the time has surely come when we need to help match officials with goal decisions. Goals are what football's all about."
Oh, silly Graham Poll. Football's not about goals. It's about paranoia and being obscenely out of touch.
Video of the IFAB explaining their decision down here...